Am I asking to much or just being a horrible step mother
Being a stepmom is really hard. My husband wants his kids involved in every activity possible which is great if he will pick them up from practice. He doesn't I have to do it all the time when I met him I told him I do not want to be a "soccer mom". I don't mind picking up my daughter because she communicates to me when she will have practice, while his kids tell him in advance and call me at the absolute last minute. We have all had discussions on communicating to me if they (his kids) need me to pick them up. They know if their dad is picking them up they don't have to tell me.
I will admit I think my husband needs to be more involved with his biological kids and stop expecting me to be "soccer mom". Their incubator lives in another state and they talk to her and listen to her talk trash about me and treat me like the other so why do I have to act as if I gave birth to them?
I did marry their dad but if incubator and her family are going to talk trash about me to the kids why don't they provide for them.
I feel like my marriage is doomed and how I tell my husband he needs to be more active in his childrens' lives without sounding like a selfish b***h
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Where is he when you are
Where is he when you are picking up his kids from practice?
Why not just let him know that you are being stretched too thin and are afraid that something will suffer if you don't receive help, for example, while you're out running around picking up the kids from practice, you're unable to tend to the household chores. If he would assist you in picking up 'his' children from practice, this will alleviate that and then there will be no worries about running late picking them up either.
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“Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.”
"The incubator"
I think that is my all-time favorite nickname!
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Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!
His kids,his responsibility.
You didn't go through the labor pains to bring their little butts into the world...you shouldn't have to go through the pain of being their taxicab/backup mommy either. If he can't handle his children without dragging you into it then they need to go live with mom.
My feeling is simply this: Did you add anything in your marriage vows about loving,honoring,cherishing his kids? Did your marriage vows state anything about taking over the mom roll for his kids? BC mine didn't. My vows didn't even mention kids. Yes marrying a man with kids means you have to accept that he has other commitments that don't revolve around you but that's where your obligation is allowed to end. My view is if my DH and his ex want to follow their divorce decree to the letter as far as picking up,dropping off,schedules,etc...then I'm going to follow my marriage vows to the letter and when I went back to review them it says nothing about, "taxi-cab for skids, do anything for skids, inconvenience your life for skids..." I didn't see any of that in my vows so maybe your DH should review your wedding vows to clarify they are NOT your children and HE is to be daddy taxi from now on...
Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others. ~Buddha
huh?
"how I tell my husband he needs to be more active in his childrens' lives without sounding like a selfish b***h"
Stop feeling like a selfish b*tch. Your husband at this point is the selfish b*tch for expecting you to be mommy and daddy for kids you didn't make. If he wants you to act like mommy, BM can sign over her parental rights,you adopt the children and get the tax credit for them...never hear from BM,never have to listen to the trash talk again,etc... So until you get rights like that, HE is the selfish b*tch. Sorry if that offends. But it's true.
Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others. ~Buddha