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ch21's picture

Submitted by ch21 on Tue, 04/12/2011 - 10:19pm

well i have been away for a while. this website has helped me to cope with the skids to a point that i was no longer about to leave my relationship. well i still do not love the fact that my boyfriend has kids from a previous marriage but i have been more mature with the situation. the little boy is still hard to deal with he is autistic and is 4 and still not potty trained and has other issues but it is not his fault but just a little look into the situation for those who are not familiar with my situation. i have a 3 year old and one on the way in 1 month. my bf also has a 6 year old who has an attitude from hell sometimes

so obviously this is not easy but no one said it would! but the problem i have now is the bm. a little background on her. she lives in a fema trailer in her moms back yard. she only keeps the little boy with her. the daughter lives in the front yard with the grandma because the bm will not get her dressed in the morning to get on the bus. i am not going to go on and on about how terrible she is because i would be here alllle nite. so to the important thing. my bf and i have been going get the kids eow for 3 years with little problem from her. well about 2 weeks ago she started calling me names and saying that she does not want me with bd going get the kids and all kind of bs. she is known to be bipolar but it has never lasted this long. we spoke to her yesterday and she cursed me and bd out and made it clear that she does not want me to go with him. she pays no bills there and her mom says that she is just crazy and not to pay her any mind. well this is the same girl who made the front page of the daily world for car jacking, kid napping, and battery. i am pregnant and i don't believe that she is just talking. i mean how can u know forsure.

well bd wants me to still go with him but says we will not turn into the driveway. the reason that he really wants me to go is because when in the past he has went to get his kids alone she has always called me and said "oh i just slept with him" and all kinda bs. well i trust him and don't think that he would do that but he does not feel that i should stay behind because we are a family. i don't want to go there because 1 she does not want me there and 2 i don't trust her

so we called the lawyer and he said we can take her back to court and she will be in contempt and stuff but bd wants to go get the kids as usual this w/e and i am not to fond of the idea. the grandma will not meet us anywhere and i don't want to seem like i just don't want to go to be mean but i don't like the idea.

any advice is appreciated. the paragraphs and words are probally scattered i am sorry

Comments

LaMareOssa's picture

Submitted by LaMareOssa on Wed, 04/13/2011 - 12:03am

Um..Well...shouldn't the fact that you're afraid of this psychopath be enough for your boyfriend to understand that you don't want to go?????????? How about the fact that you're pregnant????? Or the fact that she is completely insane? Maybe if the crazed lady actually does hurt you, your boyfriend will see why you told him over and over you didn't want to go.

Just tell him that you're pregnant and you're not willing to put the unborn baby and yourself in harms way to disprove her lies! If you trust your boyfriend, then there is no need to disprove any of her crap. Don't answer your phone when she calls.

Very simple. Don't go. Obviously she is unstable and you're afraid of what she is going to do. Is it really worth putting your child in harms way to disprove her nonsense Bull S. ?

Sorry for being so straightforward, but there is no way to candy coat something so serious.

Hope this helps.

ch21's picture

Submitted by ch21 on Wed, 04/13/2011 - 12:19am

no i like straight forward. i did not come here to hear what i wanted.lol yeah it is serious because just because she has bluffed before doesn't mean she will always and with her back ground she does have it in her. i have no problem with him going alone. i am actually starting to like the idea. i just hate that she would "get what she wants" ya know? i hate that crazy thing.
i just can't understand why she is all of a sudden acting crazy i have been going there for like 3 years. and it also worries me that she may try to say that i hurt her kids or something while they are here. i mean she is crazy. i do not put anything pass her. i mean this is my house i don't want to have to leave eow.
she gives no reason as to why she is acting this way when she is asked. i mean i don't get it

alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Wed, 04/13/2011 - 6:49am

You said she is bi-polar, maybe its getting worse? maybe she's off her meds? Doesn't matter. She is unstable and cannot be trusted. For your sake, don't go. She isn't getting her way, you are protecting yourself and your baby.

If she calls, don't answer, change your number etc. There is no reason why she should be in contact with you at all. I haven't spoken to our BM in a very long time because of her stupid behavior. After a few incidents where I have made her feel uncomfortable, she refuses to talk to me now too Smile Smile Smile

ch21's picture

Submitted by ch21 on Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:54am

i love the fact that u said the gm is not helping but enabling because i say that allllll the time. the little boy gets disability and childsupport so when she collected the backtime the gm took it and bought a fema trailer for her because she did not want to live in the same house as her. the little boy gets 700 a month which in my opinion is crazy and a waste of tax dollars but thats another story.
we actually went through the custody battle with the bm. the gm paid for her lawyer because she did not want her to lose the kids. well she failed a drug test in the court room she tested positive for marijuana which i am sure she still does and she is on probation for kidnapping, carjacking, and assult, oh and simple burgulary. before she got worse we gave in because the gm said that she would help and blah blah but the way things are going we may just have to go back to court.
that is another blog too but i never anticipated all of this. i mean i want whats best for his kids and i know he does too. i know that he can not do it alone but i know that i don't think that i am ready to step up to thatin plate either. i mean i have a 3 year old and one on the way and i am going back to school in august.
it would be the right thing to do if i would be like ok bd lets get a lawyer and take the kids and i will stay home at 22 years old and not do anything in besides raise kids. i mean it may selfish but i do not think that i am willing to do that. i learned all this about myself during the last custody battle. when it got close to us winning i was like oh crap what does this really mean. i mean i love him i really do but i love my daughter and i love nursing and i don't think i can put those off anymore.
i don't think that it would be fair to me. i know that its not fair to the kids but i am stuck in between a rock and a hard place on that too. this has been on my mind because the gm and bm are not responsible as they should be and it does pain me to see the little boy in his condition not being taught anything .
i mean bd leaves at 8 in the am and does not come back untill 8 at nite. so that would leave me raising their kids. i would like to get input of this too. i would like to know how many ppl think i am being selfish and how many ppl would actually do it for the kids