9 months out and had "the Talk"
Skid is starting her last year of high school (yay), and this is the 9 month countdown (you know how it goes! Theres the 10 year, 5 year, 1 year and then the less than 1 year monthly countdown.) We had "the Talk" and I didnt initiate it! It happened after work on the day before SD17 PowerSulk CPS starts her last year of high school. Husband is sitting in the man cave watching his tv show and sipping a beer. I typically join him for a small moment and we chat. One of the reasons that Barnacle friend irritated me. Its a time for US. To TALK.
Husband asked me what I thought we should do with PS CPS's room because her time for visitation is coming to an end, and its the natural progression. I mentioned that it might be nice to have a little time after for "breathing space" before considering another energy being in our home. I did mention Barnacle friend is NOT going to move in, he agreed. I did mention that because of PS CPS's recent behavior, full time with us is NOT any longer and option. I wont live with someone who treats me that way. He nodded like he agreed.
Things did not devolve like they have in the past. We discussed, disagreed on a few minor points and moved on. No drama.
And I even mentioned that she was NOT getting to take the wrought iron frame with canopy that I bought her freshman year as "incentive". He bought the mattress, so he mentioned sending that over to Toxic Trolls...I dont even care anymore! He can roll that thing down the highway for as much as I dont care anymore.
I did remind him of his promis to block toxic troll after the whole visitation/child support thing ends. His sort of surprising response was "yeah, but what other chit can she do to me that I have to watch out for?" I just told him well when PS CPS lives with her full time, you might need to keep that channel open for her or for feral forger...
Folks it really NEVER ends when there are children binding people. But there are those small victories and BIG releases that happen. And who knows, maybe Toxic Troll will move somewhere less expensive because she will lose her "dependent" and qualifications for LIH.
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Sounds like he's being reasonsble
I know you guys have been having some challenging times as a couple recently. But, he sounds like he's being reasonsble. Imo, marriage naturally has its up and down periods which stepland intensifies.
Maybe try laying low for awhile, don't respond much, let things simmer down. He evidently managed to get her registered for this school year and buy school supplies, things which you've done previously. So, theoretically, all you should have to deal with is 9 more months of CS and visitation.
You know from reading on here that in 9 months, the girls won't disappear. There will be those "Dad, help me move" and 'Dad, my car doesn't work" calls. But, in my case, those instances have been blips on a more placid atmosphere once the kids moved out. It will get better.
simmer
Yes, no more boiling the frogs!
She registered herself like she did last year. Easy peasy. 9 months and a few weeks.
Funny Living with Toxic Troll story that I think you will appreciate: according to PS CPS, Feral forger has been staying with Toxic Troll 2-3 days per week and will lay quietly under the covers in TT bed listening to convos. And PS CPS is "required to keep her bedroom door open at all times". Not sure I believe that but whatever.
SO, I was right. When I blogged about husband getting nasty text from Feral Forger the weekend of our anniversary, I guessed it was because things were not working out with her current digs and she was attempting to guilt him into taking her in our home again.
And I am now laughing to myself because if it goes the way I know from the past, husband will "get the call", and help her move and it might just be with toxic troll and power sulk. HAHA. And powersulk pretty much burned that bridge to have our house as her alternate...
Deal with it power sulk!
Be careful that a big blowup
Be careful that a big blowup doesn't lead to PS CPS ending up on your doorstep crying that she has nowhere to go. That's what happened as soon as the CS for LI ran out. LI and The Skunk Ape got into a big argument and she was made homeless.
Yeap
yeppers. Theres always THAT possibility. But husband made the comment that she would need to be self-supporting if that ever happened. ANd I wont be putting up with the crap anymore either. So it wont be an easy-street experience for her as it always has been.
It sounds like this went well
It sounds like this went well! And man, you are in the home stretch. I am SO jealous. Every time I've mentioned that SS will be moving out so we shouldn't/should do X to SS's room, DH gets all butt hurt that I'm making plans for SS's room before he's even gone.
boo hoooooey
That sounds hard, but you know, if you do it enough that will maybe wear off over time?
Home stretch. YES. Its only been 8 years in the making
8 years, piece of cake! *lol*
8 years, piece of cake! *lol*
Not to be a Debbie Downer,,
Not to be a Debbie Downer,,,ok? Have you given any thought about the following?
Is your state allowing BM's to modify an existing cs order before child reaches emancipation age to extend CS? AND or, up to age 20something? Does skid have any possible mental health or health problems that 'may' cause a sitting Judge to extend cs?
What are sd's plans after HS graduation?
YES.
One of the reasons that Im willing to not rock any boats yet.
In our state - california- its 18 AND graduate high school. No extensions for college kids.
Supposedly Feral Forger has Lupus imaginaria, and power sulk thinks she might "have it".
So there remains a POSSIBILITY but the probabilities are super low.
Powersulk has mentioned that she intends to go to community college and has been talking about getting a job. However she also recently mentioned that toxic troll has been "verbally abusing her over getting a job and they lose the low income housing".
Be wary of the .... but. It sounds like there is one pending
For sure keep no residents in your home other than you and DH, front and center with zero waffling. If Barnacle wants to move in and DH insists on it, buy a Granny/Barnacle POD for the back yard and keep him and any other cling-ons out of your home.
Take care of yourself. It is time. No more catering to failed daddy DH, no more tolerating Barnacle buddy.
$
I MIGHT consider a roomate for money that would enable travel and home improvements.
Not a good idea IMO.
Not a good idea IMO.
Sounds like a beautiful
Sounds like a beautiful fairytale with a happy ending!!! Steps moving out and reconverting the rooms! yay! Congrats!
storage
Im going to sell that darn canopy bed, and get rid of all things skid. She will need to work with her father on transporting what she wants to keep and what she wants to trash. 9 months a few weeks, 274 days
Folks it really NEVER ends
Folks it really NEVER ends when there are children binding people
That's what BM, over here, thought and what she told DH, that they were bonded for life. He told her that as soon as child support was done, so were they, he would never need to speak to her, again. And, he hasn't. We haven't seen or spoken to her since 2010.
So, the good news is, it CAN end.
Yes, Im super hoping
Husband WANTS it to end. Hes tired, and wants a better life. Its been 25 years of baby momma drama, and hes over it. Even when they were together she was drama.
That's just it, he has to
That's just it, he has to want it to end. And be strong enough to end it.
BM did call once after SD was emancipated. After she rattled on about some bullshit that she thought DH would fall for (regarding SD), he told her that he had nothing to say to her. She could tell by the tone of his voice that he was DONE and she hung up and never called again.
She thought that she could continue to use SD to manipulate him, you know, because he loves his daughter, but he was TIRED of her manipulation and abuse.