All this long 5 years and a few months of being with DH, Ive worked to try to figure out all the different ropes of threads of all the different games that Toxic Troll Bm is playing with DH. He might spend 2.5 brain cells on it, which is why I think her games might be effective - he is always in last-minute-respond mode rather than having a plan of any kind. No calculations of moves and counter moves. I give him helpful hints, coach him on the necesity of strong boundaries and how to enforce them.

Toxic Troll bought a car a few years ago with now SUPPOSEDLY ex bf, Tweedle. When he was going on his downward spiral, drinking excessively and becoming abusive, and she had broken up and kicked him out, he had tried to get that car. Its rather nice, and BMW zsomething black convertable. In reponse to his threats, she filed a restraining order on him, to "protect her daughter and herself from this oh-so-violent person" ie to control her pet.

Cut to now - he pays her $$$ to stay at the apartment while Munchkin SD13 is with us. And really any time we take her, he is there. And sometimes drop offs are postponed because he is THERE.

The past few days, DH has been told THE MORNING OF PICKUP for school that TT doesnt have her car, because Tweedle has it. This causes a 30-minute delay for him because her apartment is right next to a large high school. But she will suddenly have her car for pick up later that day at our house.

Never any warning ahead of time, just a response from munchkin that no they are not on their way, no car.

Its another game. Im sure of it.

Which game is she playing?

A.Shes parked the car somewhere else. Or

B. she agrees that Tweedle can obtain car in the morning (what by bus? He lives and works a few cities over...)

Because

C. Control of DH. She likes to make him jump through hoops.

Or

D. Lazy. Cant get up that early.

Sidenote, the entire time that I have been with him, he has always done the main transport. When she was working, shed do drop, off so DH could take kiddo to her school. Its on the way, so it worked. SHE HAS NEVER picked her kid up or driven her to school. Not even when DH was sick. Sometimes I did it. She lost her job last November. And DH's spine got stronger and he would insist on her continuing to do drop offs.

So whats the game? I smell something rotten.