Talked it out with "The Mask"
So - after thinking on things a bit, I was in conversation with Munchkin SD13 last night, and gauged it to be safe to present this topic.
I asked her if she was unhappy the time we went out, just she and I because it had been brought to my attention by an outside viewpoint, a friend, who had mentioned she looked REALLY miserable.
I said, it doesnt offend me if you would rather not attend xyz event.
She said "no, I had fun! That was just my resting face".
Well, I STILL have no plans to take her anywhere, and there is a BIG 2-day music/art festival, that starts early at 12, and ends in the evening at 5. Thats too long to be with the "Mask of Resting Face". I figure she'll get tired/bored/hungry/thirsty/want me to buy something - normal teen stuff apparently. Therefore I made plans to go with a GF, both days, or alternatively alone. I might even be able to camp out at a friends place, because its 45 minute travel 1-way. GF is not mentioning our adventure plans to anyone - I told her the deal with "Mask of Misery", and she agrees its Pouting to Get Something Face, not actual Resting Face - happy on the inside...
So, thanks for advice lovelies. Im taking it. She and I can go adventuring when she turns 16 or something like that.
Perhaps she will be interesting then...
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Comments
Have fun darlin' and do you!
Have fun darlin' and do you!
Nothing worse than being around someone with a debbie downer miserable face mask
Debbie Downer!!!!!
I used to say that - but Toxic Trolls real name prevents me. Shhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Yes, this festival has GREAT music, lots of lovely art and gems, and all my friends go and we dance together.
DH is always fishing during it...he wont miss me.
LOL This reminds me of my brother
My brother loves the local pro football team. I managed to get him, XH (when he was still a DH), and me tickets to one of the games. It was our bday present to him. My XH and I sat on either side of him and exchanged glances through the entire game that said "what did we do wrong? why does he look so angy?" You would have thought he was figuring out how to murder us given his face and his short answers.
When the game was over (the team won) he still wasn't bubbly or happy looking. I quietly said to him that I didn't know what had gone wrong but I was sorry if he didn't enjoy himself. He was shocked. His 'resting face' immediately transformed and he said he had a blast, that he just gets so into the game and watching and thinking about it that he's super focused and doesn't talk, and that he was really grateful to us and thanked us profusely. The spell was broken and he talked and talked about the game.
Brothers are weird.
yah!
She always makes sure to say "I had fun gys thanks for taking me..."
So it could be that I have the fragil ego as stated by someon else. I guess perhaps the biggger picture is that DH doesnt really spend much togthr time with me. Im not feeling appreciated by those two, just feling like I dont matter, so why try.
But your brother is a differnt story! How funny!
All three boys in our house
Have resting bitch face. They are late teens. It’s passing a bit for two of them but one still looks murderous even if he’s eating is favorite foods. It’s annoying and it will get to you but don’t take it personally.
Dont take it personally!
LOL.I know right?
I guess that when she is night with me, then sunny sunshine daylijght with her dadeee it gets to me. That whole dadeeeee hyper "I want to make dadee happy, and dadeee what do you think", is also attached to teen years, eh? Ive just read too much about "mini-wives", and "dad attachment issues" with skids here, so perhaps Im reading too much into her actions and words.
It could all be in my mind. Its just been happening more recently. Or maybe its ALWAYS been happening, Im just more knowledgeable from reading posts here.
If it makes you feel any better
Even while XH and I were married, DS at a young age figured out that it was okay to 'be real' with mom but that dad couldn't handle too much emotion. DS would be crabby to me and turn around and be all happy to XH.
It could be anything. She could be manipulative, she could be comfortable enough with you to be herself, she may not know she's doing it. Keep your radar on and see what happens.
If you believe that SD just
If you believe that SD just has Resting B!tch Face and really is having fun, why not go with her? Just make sure DH gives her money to buy whatever ahead of time so she isn't asking you. Part of being around teens is accepting their teen faces and clothes and attitude and slang talk, but still managing to have fun with them.
I told her during our discussion
That I believe her, but really I just dont. I said I would take what she said "at face value' lololol.
So, I guess the truth is that I raelly have TRIED to do fun things with her, that I like, hoping she would like them too, but perhaps she simply really just doesnt like doing those things. But wants to just get out of the house and do SOMETHING, because Toxic Troll doesnt do anything with her daughter.
And also - another truth I am realizing is that at this age she really isnt that much fun to be around. I think thats normal, and she just wants to be with her friends (sniff).
This upcoming festival - theres a snow balls chance in hLL I will take her at this point. Things change over time, however - maybe Im just "ina mood". Im sure that DH will maybe take her. More power to him, he can spend time with her, Im no longer going to "fill in the cracks". Ive found when I retreat he is forced to actually do more. When Im very present, he takes off to spend time with HIS friends, often leaving us together.
So the bigger picture, is that Clove is taking off her cape, and putting on her dancing shoes.
Keep dancing darlin' and stop
Keep dancing darlin' and stop being so present that way H spends more time with HIS child instead of running off with his friends. He should ask his daughter what she would like to do or maybe just go out for a movie or something.....you know.....spend quality time with her.
You and your friend will have
You and your friend will have a wonderful time! In fact, I'm certain that, if you go alone, you will have a wonderful time!
Girls just wanna have fun
Like that song, right?
And teens just wanna be on their PHONES.
lolol.