So all has been going well the last couple weeks after DP and I had a little argument about my disengagement (but he doesn't call it that, he calls it my lack of help, interest and bad attitude).

We spoke about undermining, ignoring, changing plans, wanting me to parent but then NOT wanting me to parent at the same time, cleaning issues, etc...

He's been much better. The house is staying cleaner, he's more aware of that. He's asking for help more rather than assuming.

Until yesterday when he did a full 180.

* had to ask him if I needed to pick up SD10 from friend's house on my way home. This is normal, and I don't mind since it's not out of my way, but he has to ask me as she's not always there. Reminded him to ASK me.

* he didn't ASK me if it was ok to bring SD10 to school drop off point on my way to work this morning. I need to know this in the evening as it alters my morning slightly. Reminded him, he got annoyed (no coffee because he forgot and I didn't remind him), and I just reminded him AGAIN that this is not my issue but I will help on Thursdays b/c it's ok with me if I know ahead of time.

* We were supposed to purchase roller bags with the girls and a couple other things on Saturday. Date chosen 2 weeks ago because we'll all be together. Last night, he said, "Do we have to go Saturday?" in front of the girls. SD12 says, "Yeah, why not Sunday...?"
So I told him if he doesn't do it Saturday, it's ALL on him. I'm out. I won't go.
He needs to get carry on measurements, figure out where to get bags, etc.

* And I was trying to get the girls swimsuits and shoes picked out last night with them, AS PLANNED and he threw a fit and wanted everyone to watch this show he wanted to watch and we had to stop. So I sent him the links and then I'm done. No suits? No new shoes? Talk to your dad.
I'm ok looking for things with them, but follow through is up to him.

* He tells SD10 she can't spend the night at her friend's house on Friday, but then turns around a little while later and tells SD12, Hey guess what? You want to stay over at W's house Friday night? SD12 is so exited (I'm wondering if this is why the Saturday plan is in question!)...I'm like, ok, so what are you going to tell SD10?

THIS is why I'm disengaged. I tried getting back in just a teeny tiny bit and it slapped me down again. Over and OUT again.