Need advice
Recently I was in an auto accident. My DH told his son...(which all 3 of his children are grow) I thought nothing of it. Then his son tells his mother about it again thought nothing of it. His son sent my car pics his mother.....she then shared it with my DHs brother, on social media as well as to DH's mother!!! This is only 1 day after the accident being hurt I had not even contacted all my family. My DH mother called us and told us that his ex wife sent her pics of my car and she wanted to k ow what in the world was going on and if I was okay? I was furious to the point of shaking. So the next time I seen his son I approached him and spoke with him about this matter. I told him I was a rather private person and ASKED him if we could keep my personal (anything medical) between us and not with his mother. I personally do not think that is too much to ask for...but my DH told me I am "filtering his children, they can not freely communicate without having to think of what they say first"?? My DH said I "demanded it" which was clearly untrue! I simply ASKED his 22 year old son.
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You were not wrong..
You were not wrong...hopefully this will be a wake up call to you regarding your formerBF behavior. I imagine this is not the first thing that has happened that has left you scratching your head. Hopefully it will be the last.
Many over the last 7 years!
Many over the last 7 years! This is just the newest incident. Any advice on how to make this situtation better or should I still remain silent in this matter? I feel awful about this...within the same breath I am the one having to deal with this all alone. Finding a new car, lawyer involved in car case, adjusting to walk while no one even will speak to me. I can not approach the ex wife now because she will make matters worse with using social media since I do not use networking apps. She could possibly destroying my case! Or worse twist it so that She is the victim and I am the bad guy which keeps the kids mad at me.
Remain silent. If your bf
Remain silent. If your bf really thinks its ok his son gives his bm your car accident photos to plaster on the internet and tell everyone about... well, my opinion is you are better off without the lot.
When you talked to your SS,
When you talked to your SS, you probably shouldn't have mentioned his mother and instead just asked: "Can we keep my medical stuff just between us?"
What you want is perfectly reasonable, but a girlfriend or second wife even mentioning biomom is OFF LIMITS. It's best to never directly mention exes or bios -- everyone just takes instant offense.
As for dealing with your boyfriend...if he doesn't see on his own that his ex posting a newsflash about your car accident is out of bounds, you probably won't be able to convince him. Some people just have no sense. Your best argument with him is one that doesn't have anything to do with his son or ex. Keep it about the legal stuff, pure dollars and cents, because you're right -- a good lawyer will dig up anything to protect his or her client. If it's out there, it could hurt your case.
I'm glad you're OK and hope your recovery goes well. You sure don't need this on top of an accident.
My DH is a private person as
My DH is a private person as well and asks me not to share things about his life. On the occasions that I share too much (and after 5 years together, I'm usually aware of what is "too much"), it's not him that should feel guilty. It's me because I know better.
Your BF of 7 YEARS should know by now that you're a private person who wouldn't want your information spread throughout the lands. Your lack of social media presence is testament to that. HE should be the one feeling guilty for spreading information, that sounds rather non-life threatening, with the world.
If you stay together, my response to him would be:
"If you don't want me to censor your adult son, then I will you. Do NOT share my business with others. Period. If I want them to know, I'll tell them in my own time. Unless I am near death, do not utter my business to others."
Nice it up as much or as little as you like. Make it perfectly clear that it is not a request, but a demand that will have consequence.
Also, as a small aside, I'd be LIVID if BM were posting my business on social media period. I'd be especially annoyed if it were being shared before I even had a chance to inform people that I cared about - my family and friends.
Really, had your BF knew you better and kept his trap shut, all of this would be a non-issue. Your SS also needs to know when it is and isn't appropriate to share information (my parents are divorced, and I don't go running off and telling either parent how the other is doing unless I had something to do with their care, then it's just need-to-know-for-story information). It doesn't sound like you were on death's door, so no need to spread the news in less than 24 hours - ESPECIALLY to BM.
DH with the big mouth
My DH (after 30 years of mariage) started, about 10 years ago, to share my and our business with his kids and his siblings and their kids (his family is large). He told them even if I had specifically told him that this was a subject between the two of us! We argue about it every single time and he'll tell me "well they are going to find out eventually." As a result I tell him absolutely nothing that I wouldn't share with the whole world. Makes for great communication - not. He knew and has known I'm rather private about my affairs. So I sympathize with you completely.