THE GUILT...........BRUTAL
The one thing i cant seem to shake is the guilt i feel for not wanting nothing to do in ss life.In my heart i know he doesnt care two craps about me and only is nice when he wants something but its hard to shake.I have had my mom pass away 2 years ago,some close friends and recentely my grandmother and this 16 year old little shit didnt even acknowlege one of them........never even said anything to me.I live out of canada so i travel alone to the funerals but he never said anything......
Its a sick feeling when his mother tells me how much he loves me when i know the truth and the poor lady just wants a united family......i feel for her because i know shes not blind.I almost lose it when i see him bugging my 5 year old bio son when hes watching his cartoons or playing his video games.He grabs his ears and calls him a baby when bio son gets mad.I get these horrible feelings of just grabbing him and telling him to stay away from my son.Its normal i guess for older brothers to tease the younger one.....but........sad to say i dont even see him as my sons brother.Thats why i feel guilty because of everything that has happen ive been brought to feel this way.in 2 years he will be 18....hes too lazy to work but i hope he gets a good offer from some colledge far away.....cant stand living in my own home...he takes the joy of family life away.....its brutal
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I feel for you. I too can't
I feel for you. I too can't stand my SS11 and want NOTHING to do with him. He only likes me when it is to his benefit and I am over trying with him. I wish that he would never come to my house again but there isn't much I can do about that as his father still gets him EOW...
****I can do bad all by myself****
Thats the thing.like you
Thats the thing.like you said "I am over trying with him".Its not that we didnt try.....i have done everything in my power to be a real family but this kid just makes a fool out of me.I am done...my son and him are night and day......they dont look anything like each other and my son has a stong caracter but is polite and pleasant with everybody even at his young age.I dont want this punk to have any influence on my son.....I hate this situation so much..............
I don't have children....and
I don't have children....and I seriously doubt I will EVER have any. I don't want any child of mine to be associated with this little jerk or have to call him brother!!! It is a sad situation.....
****I can do bad all by myself****
Thanx.......serious its not
Thanx.......serious its not like i dont say anything...I do i tell him to stop but next time im gonna scare the shit out of him.....I have never really raised my voice to him but screw this.Ive hesitated because he doesnt have a father and i never wanted him to feel different because he doesnt have a dad but why sacrifice my bio sons peace?screw this.........he doesnt respect me is one thing...like you said.......but ill make sure he never bothers my son again..........thanx for the advice.
I swear the more I read this
I swear the more I read this blog, it just feels like these teenagers are manipulative little ----! My SD14 is only nice to me if I am taking her shopping or talking her Dad into something for her. I stopped trying several months ago. And I think when she broke me is when she decided she no longer wanted to live here. Part of me is mad at the situation and part of me wants her to just go to mom's and leave the rest of us alone. Sorry for your pain, at least it is just two more years.
I feel your pain too...that
I feel your pain too...that whole manipulating thing is disgusting.he does the same thing with me....hell strike up a conversation asking me stuff about my day or saying he would like to learn french(im from quebec)and i open up right away.......almost forget the bad stuff.before i know it hes hitting me up for cash or something.....it doesnt work anymore...
Im sick of him..his mom asked him to wash his plate after she cooked for him at 10pm the other night he got pissed and tossed it in the sink and it broke.....i asked him whats going on?and he looked at me and said he didnt know.....his mom didnt say shit.oh god there is so much crap everyday....i dont want to spend one more thought on him but hes always there......
Its really hard when the
Its really hard when the child lives with you. I know that I have gotten to a point that SS10 has pissed me off so bad that every little thing he does annoys the hell out of me (even if its normal behavior). Disengage completely. Let BM take care of him. You need to focus on your child and your happiness. Don't let him get the best of you and ruin your life. Why should you feel guilty? You are not doing anything wrong.
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus
I know in my heart i have
I know in my heart i have done nothing wrong.Im numb inside as far as hes concerned and to disengage is the only solution that i see.It got to the point were i wasnt hugging and giving my bio son the affection that would come naturally if he was nearby.I adore my bio son and i feel he is being cheated sometimes because he is my world and i suppressed my feelings to not make ss feel bad.......just writting this makes me sick.........ss doesnt give a crap anyways........ive been here since last night and already im seeing the light on this situation.....thanx to all