BM can't let go!
It has been almost 6 years being around BM. You think it would get easier, right? Well, the last 2 have been pretty low key. (Compared to the restraining order I first had on her when DH and I started dating...) Minimal interaction or dealings with each other. It's been nice.
Well, I guess DH and BM got into an argument the other day. BM told DH that SD12 called her when she was at our house crying. Saying that I threw away a bracelet kit she left in my car and how miserable I make her. *I'm totatlly disengaged from SD and say nothing unless I'm directly asked a question by her*. I replied and told SD12 when she asked about it, that I just vaccuumed out my car and drove it through the car wash, so I definitely would have seen it.
So of course SD12 turns it into I'm throwing her stuff away. *Even if it were true* if someone left beads in my car for over a week, yes they would be thrown away! Not the point, just saying.
So BM goes on to say how it's MY fault DH and her can't coparent. Because if they were to actually get together and talk (without me), that I would be upset. And "God forbid, you make _____ upset." So she's blaming their inability to communicate on me someone. Because I guess she thinks all conversations should be in person? But without me, even though they're about me to some extent? But DH won't 'coparent' with her because otherwise I would be mad?
Wow! DH just said "stop texting me." BM replied hours later, saying how sorry she was. That she was "tired". Lol, nice excuse. More like untreated mental health issues.
Why can't BM just tell SD to clean up after herself? Or hey, if you leave stuff somewhere it's YOUR responsibilty. Instead of accusing and blaming other people. Her lack of parenting is unreal. I just wish she would stop bringing my name up! Why does she keep going in these cycles?
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Because...
She blames you because you are an easy target, the only other person involved aside from DH and her. I found this scapegoat role one of the most difficult aspects of being a SP. Another facet is that SD can use you to gain the victim role and play the parents against each other. Our SD was quite adept at making each parent assume the savior role after her "mistreatment" by one or the other or me. It's so tiresome and can be destructive to a relationship but your DH sounds aware. Sigh, I feel for you with SD at 12, my SD was just ramping up then. Good luck and may peace be restored.
My give a shit regarding the toxic blended family opposition is.
zero.
They do not matter other than their destruction to minimize their impact on kids. That so many think they matter, is detrimental to Skids. A toxic opposition should be confronted on everything they pull, have their asses bared on every bit of their crap, the Skids should be kept abreast of those facts in an age appropriate manner, and the quality side of the equation should make sure the Skids have the facts necessary for the Skids to protect themselves from the shit end of their own gene pool.
IMHO of course.
You are an easy target and it gains the SK sympathy from BM
Classic sk crap...blame SP for everything. Mommy comes to their rescue and they are fawned over. How horrible of the SP...
My sk's tried that crap till I demanded if they were going to blame me then DH had better call the Beaver on speaker phone and they can discuss "what happened"...ie call out the sk on their lies and make them them own up. Took SD one time to catch on that that crap wasn't going to work. SS continued to try it and even now he still blames me for sh*t and I haven't seen or talked to him in years..(other the cracker barrel stalking..I mean sighting last year)