I had my baby about a month ago! I love her so much! I'm so happy to finally know what parental live feels like. Anyway, I haven't really been on STalk since she was born. Well, SS13 came over for his first visitation since she was born this last weekend. He was fine, it was a typical visit. The thing that bugged me was the way DH acted. This is his son. I don't really care if the kid comes over or not. Actually it would be easier for me if he didn't come over because I'm breast feeding and pumping so I had to go hide in the bedroom every time dd needed to eat. But it's fine, DH wanted to see his son.
Or did he?
I saw very little interaction between the two of them. SS spent a lot of time in his bedroom. I was thinking about it and I can't think of a time I actually saw them talk to each other except maybe once when DH told SS yo recycle his plastic bottle. Not only that but DH seemed super stressed and annoyed all weekend and the minute be got back from dropping SS off at home he appeared to be much happier and relaxed.
It makes me wonder again why we have SS come over. Most of the time I accept it and am ok with it for DH's sake but when we have a weekend like the last one, I begin to wonder again. This is the way weekends usually are but the annoyance was compounded for me by the fact that I now have a baby to care for and I'd like DH to be present and not annoyed and stressed by his son's visit as well as being stressed by a newborn baby.
Is this just a man thing?. I'm sure he loves his son. And now I have an idea of what that unconditional love feels like. But why doesn't he act affectionate at all? Do your DHs act that way too?
Same thing I wonder. DH makes a big deal about SS coming over but they don't do anything. Well, Friday night they went to SD15 basketball game... big whip, sure that was tons of fun. Then the rest of the weekend it was SS14 sitting in SD15 room (she was at a friends) watching TV. He and DH might have talked for a total of one hour the entire weekend. What is the point? Just to say that the kid was there? I just don't get it.
If you ask me, they'd be better off going somewhere and having lunch and actually conversing for a couple of hours.
I completely agree with you on the lunch thing. But I guess it's important that the skids actually stay over in their own rooms with their own clothes and toys and other stuff. That way the DHs feel like a family... Or something like that. I think this situation will always feel odd and unnatural to me. Their relationship seems so forced.
I guess that's what's weird about SS14 coming to our house. He has NOTHING there.. not even a toothbrush. (oh yeah... so he didn't brush his teeth for 3 days either... double gag!) So it truly is like he is a guest. He does have a room, but a pipe burst in the ceiling last winter and ruined the whole room (carpet, walls, etc) so the room is gutted. The guy (friend.. BIG mistake!) that DH hired to do the work to fix it, never finished the job and DH made the mistake of paying him up front so we have been going back and forth and getting ready to take him to small claims. So when SS14 DOES come, he has to hang out in SD15 room. Gee sounds like TONS of fun.. NOT But even when SS14 did have his room, it was bare, like a guest room... it was just a bed, a TV and that was it. He had no clothes, no nothing.
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I had my baby about a month
I had my baby about a month ago! I love her so much! I'm so happy to finally know what parental live feels like. Anyway, I haven't really been on STalk since she was born. Well, SS13 came over for his first visitation since she was born this last weekend. He was fine, it was a typical visit. The thing that bugged me was the way DH acted. This is his son. I don't really care if the kid comes over or not. Actually it would be easier for me if he didn't come over because I'm breast feeding and pumping so I had to go hide in the bedroom every time dd needed to eat. But it's fine, DH wanted to see his son.
Or did he?
I saw very little interaction between the two of them. SS spent a lot of time in his bedroom. I was thinking about it and I can't think of a time I actually saw them talk to each other except maybe once when DH told SS yo recycle his plastic bottle. Not only that but DH seemed super stressed and annoyed all weekend and the minute be got back from dropping SS off at home he appeared to be much happier and relaxed.
It makes me wonder again why we have SS come over. Most of the time I accept it and am ok with it for DH's sake but when we have a weekend like the last one, I begin to wonder again. This is the way weekends usually are but the annoyance was compounded for me by the fact that I now have a baby to care for and I'd like DH to be present and not annoyed and stressed by his son's visit as well as being stressed by a newborn baby.
Is this just a man thing?. I'm sure he loves his son. And now I have an idea of what that unconditional love feels like. But why doesn't he act affectionate at all? Do your DHs act that way too?
Same thing I wonder. DH
Same thing I wonder. DH makes a big deal about SS coming over but they don't do anything. Well, Friday night they went to SD15 basketball game... big whip, sure that was tons of fun. Then the rest of the weekend it was SS14 sitting in SD15 room (she was at a friends) watching TV. He and DH might have talked for a total of one hour the entire weekend. What is the point? Just to say that the kid was there? I just don't get it.
If you ask me, they'd be better off going somewhere and having lunch and actually conversing for a couple of hours.
I completely agree with you
I completely agree with you on the lunch thing. But I guess it's important that the skids actually stay over in their own rooms with their own clothes and toys and other stuff. That way the DHs feel like a family... Or something like that. I think this situation will always feel odd and unnatural to me. Their relationship seems so forced.
I guess that's what's weird
I guess that's what's weird about SS14 coming to our house. He has NOTHING there.. not even a toothbrush. (oh yeah... so he didn't brush his teeth for 3 days either... double gag!) So it truly is like he is a guest. He does have a room, but a pipe burst in the ceiling last winter and ruined the whole room (carpet, walls, etc) so the room is gutted. The guy (friend.. BIG mistake!) that DH hired to do the work to fix it, never finished the job and DH made the mistake of paying him up front so we have been going back and forth and getting ready to take him to small claims. So when SS14 DOES come, he has to hang out in SD15 room. Gee sounds like TONS of fun.. NOT But even when SS14 did have his room, it was bare, like a guest room... it was just a bed, a TV and that was it. He had no clothes, no nothing.