It's been ages since I've been on here! I think I've conceived and given birth to another child since I was last here. Things with my ss now 15 have been pretty even and I've had calm feelings toward him. My oldest dd likes playing with ss and he plays with her. It's cute and I'm glad for her that she has him. I've even tried bonding with him myself.

Recently, DH and I were talking about how SS14's life with BM and his stepdad is less than ideal. His caveman of a stepfather is an asshole and rumor has it that he's not very nice to SS. DH was saying how it'll be "awesome" when SS finally gets into a fist fight with SF and decides he wants to live with us.

I now have a 6 week old baby. I used to feel a little stressed when SS would come over for his EOWe visits but now I feel a lot stressed by them. At night, DH and I have been taking care of our DD in shifts. Usually I take the first shift and he goes to bed. With SS here, I think DH should stay up with baby and SS first and I should sleep. I don't like being alone with SS because I'm not very fond of him and I don't like trying to force a conversation with him and pretending to like him. But I will be upsetting our schedule to have DH take the first shift.

It never really seems as bad as I anticipate it'll be. I just get irritated by SS being allowed to hog our tv by playing video games, me not being able to shower with the door open, needing to decide on a movie that's appropriate for a kid too, just minor annoyances. It's just hard when you have your routine down and it gets disrupted. I know it's worth it for DH to be able to have his son over so I do my best to put on a happy face. Of course, it helps to know it'll only last a couple of days.