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drainingme17's picture

Submitted by drainingme17 on Tue, 02/09/2010 - 8:37pm

Breaking point that made me look for something like this on the Internet-SS being so comfortable about lying. Did you brush your teeth and wash your face??? YES (lie). He is 12 and I have know him since he was almost two. BM is a nut case who when sick (which is often) he has to stay with us. SS has a SF...he stays here in our house when BF is sick???? I read about someone who can't stand to be around their SK...starting to feel the same way. Worse is that my hubby and I have our own kid and the thought of SS bad habits rubbing off on the little guy kills me. SS doesn't respect me. I've talked to BF but seems to get me nowhere. It is nice to see it's not just me. Any pointers would be greatly appreciated.

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time2live's picture

Submitted by time2live on Tue, 02/09/2010 - 9:25pm

I have been dealing with lying too. I have an SS9 who is constantly lying over the most trivial stuff. It drives me up a wall. The other issue I can totally relate to is having skids bad habits rub off on my two kids. i can't stand it. i take 90% of my waking life and put in the work it takes to raise my kids and shape them into great human beings and because BM doesn't do this, I have to try to live with her mistakes and then see her bad parenting show up in my kids. Oh that really burns me up! The way I deal with it now is to reprogram my kids after the skids leave that "we don't do XYZ" whatever the behavior is. Sometimes I have to be blunt and say you don't talk like SS9, if anything you need to show him the correct way to talk. i also reprogram skid everytime he comes to say we don't lie in this house, we accept responsibility for what we've done. it's more work but it has been working better than if i say nothing.

drainingme17's picture

Submitted by drainingme17 on Thu, 02/11/2010 - 8:54pm

thanks for the words of encouragement. i have been trying the same things and end up saying -yes, i know he does it but it is not right, ALOT. i fear that it might put some issues between an already age difference for brothers. the joke is that after the lie there is no punishment for BD. funny still SS asked to stay at BM house on our night yesterday and BM let him buy a cell phone..WTF?!?! breath, is what i seem to do best----B R E A TH!!

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Tue, 02/09/2010 - 9:36pm

As far as the skid rubbing off on your kid, well, it can happen if you have the same standards...if you keep your high standards for your own child, eventually, they will understand what you attempted to do...and the skid will be a loser and your kid, although it might be tough at the begining, when they grow up will appreciate what you did...good luck...I thought I'd have to deal with that, but I no longer do...thank God!