First of all, I don't think anyone under the age of 18 should be designated a beneficiary. My FH has his mother and sister getting 50% of everything each in his will. He owns a couple properties. When we marry, he will change that to me getting 100%. He has all ready changed his life insurance policy where I am listed as beneficiary instead of ex-wife. My FH has a trust account from a life insurance policy from his first wife who was killed by a drunk driver back in 1995. This money has nothing to do with his ex, and so she will receive nothing from it. College funds are all ready set up for skids and can't be touched except for that use. If skids choose not to go to college, the money is forfeited. I know that the ex is counting on receiving something because she is the BM, but that is not the case here. She will not use the money wisely and has proved this over and over again. I think it's wise to have a beneficiary be someone you both can trust until the skid is over 18, and then they can be added as the beneficiary of a life insurance policy. If your hubby passes, everything should go to you, and then if you pass, everything should be divided equally among all kids. Just my opinion, of course! You can have a will written this way, and a life insurance policy can be written this way too.

**my stepdaughters did not grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart**

Here is what we did... before we married we discussed this all and the cards were all laid out. I would NEVER have married my husband if he intended to marry a woman and leave anything to his grown kids... more so since my husband is not a rich man.
So what we did was get a will leaving everything to each other 100%. If I die before him, I have substanial investments, they are going to the charity of my choice if he can not use them in his lifetime ( you can get wills like this through your lawyer). His kids are far too emotionally immature and involved with their birth mother and them having even a little bit could make them do things to endanger themselves. We know this, as this what we are seeing come true.
Also to note, my husbands parents are still alive and married...
all their wills are naming the spouse 100% as sole beneficiary in the will.
I would not marry any other way and neither would anyone I know or related too.

My SS (17) is an only child in our family. His SpermClan is nearly destitute due to BioDad breeding himself and his parents to the brink of financial collapse. In order to protect our estate from THEM, my wife and I named each the other's sole beneficiary. In the event of our joint demise the estate goes in to trust for our Son (my SS) until he completes a bachelors degree from an accredited institution or turns 40 whichever comes first.

My Dad and my Brother are the executors of the trust. The Will provides instructions that school and living costs for SS can be covered by the trust at the discretion of either of the executors.

In the event we have more children, the Will will remain primarily the same and be divided equally among the children with no one getting access to their share until either the bachelors degree or 40yo requirements are met.

This is our way of parenting and enforcing our values from beyond the grave. }:)

If SS screws up his life after we are gone, I am sure my wife and I will haunt him until he gets it right.

In a situation where there are skids and joint bio kids, I would be hesitant to not divide the estate equally. His children from a previous are no less his children than the ones he has with you and have as much right to an equity share of Dad's resources as any other of his bio children. Trying to put some differing %age split of an estate between the yours, mine and ours children can get extremely complicated and set the kids up for a contentious relationship after you and your spouse are gone.

Just my thoughts of course.

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)

I do not believe that anyone, including skids, that are not living in a home should have the right to take the roof off someone else whose father, mother, husband, wife, etc...has died...ie. skids have a place to live, you and your kid (if you have one) would have enough trouble getting used to your DH not being there to have the ex or skid also take away your home...therefore, I agree if he wants to leave him anything, get an insurance policy...otherwise, nothing...if he's under 18 he will get social security anyway...if not, check as many states now have CS that does NOT end upon death of obligor...and it will be taken out of his estate...please check on that...