Great start to Monday has changed!!!
BM announced a couple of weeks ago that she would be in town for 2 straight weeks and would like SS13 to stay with her on DH work days. Yippee!!
She only lasted a week!! I was planning on SS going with her today because DH works so I asked DH last night to have SS take out trash since he wouldn't be with us tomorrow and he says oh SS says his mom left already. WTF?? I told DH to find out if that were true! So he text BM and sure enough! 
I realize I don't have to "take care of" SS13 but I had already made mental plans for my week! Now of course that changes because Dumb BM left! Why does she always get to dictate? Grrrr!! Now I to deal with his crap, lack of hygiene, and just got on line and saw that he has 3 F's!
Just another day in paradise!!
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Though the CP household has
Though the CP household has most of the authority and power in a blended family situation, the NCP gets to deal with the kids on an at will basis.
The CP is stuck with the all day every day stuff in most cases and if the NCP refused to take the kid for visitation the CP is stuck dealing with that crap too.
The one true control point the NCP has is whether or not to take the kid(s) per the CO visitation schedule. This is particularly true in a long distance visitation situation.
Visitation is not mandatory for the NCP though heaven forbid if a CP fails to make the kid available per the CO'd visitation schedule.
Fortunately for us the SpermClan never realized this so the most we ever had to deal with was their rants about not getting extended time or when we put our foot down on visitation start dates and told them when visitation would start or they would just not get the kid. This was primarily for the 5Wk CO'd summer visitation. Winter and Spring were no big deal since the CO stipulated specifically when they would start and other than their rants about the cost of travel were rarely an issue.
Just my thoughts of course.
Best regards,
You are right about that!! BM
You are right about that!! BM comes and goes as she pleases! She is the one that announced she'd be in town for 2 weeks and of course expected SS to be available to her. We all want SS to have a relationship with his mother but I just hate how she gets to change her plans with no regard to our lives!
She drives to town and so far has paid for SS to fly out for extended vacation like summer/spring break.
I just hate the way she gets to choose what the rest of us do! DH allows it to happen for the most part so I blame him as well! Luckily SS13 is at the age where he can do alot from himself so I am not completely affected but rather annoyed!
Thanks Rags!
My pleasure. My wife would
My pleasure.
My wife would take the SPermClan's crap and did so for years. Until finally I put my foot down and told her that the only thing I would support financially was complete adherence to the CO visitation schedule.
She would try to placate then by finding cheaper tickets for visitation, adjusting visitation time so that my SS could be there when his half sibs were out of school, etc, etc, etc....
I always supported the "not my problem" position and total use of the CO to control them.
Then my wife would insist that the next trip or vacation we planed had to be taken only when our son was with us and not in SpermLand. I finally just started buying vacation plane tickets that worked for my schedule and gave my wife and kid the choice of joining me or not. Never once did they refuse to join me. Even to the point where my wife finally started dictating to SpermGrandMa when summer visitation would start. We never denied them any time but we took control of the schedule because we got sick of having our own plans screwed up by changes that the SpermClan would make.
They never took any trips while the Skid was with them except their annual camping trip to a Lake, the coast and a week at a fiend's time share. All within a couple hours drive from SpermGrandMa's where my kid spent most of his visitations since she raises the three younger half sibs and none of the kids spend much time with their SpermIdiot.
Something you might try is planning to be out of town during BMs visitation time with teh kid. If you and his dad are not home during BM's visitation then she can't cut the visitation short unless she wants to dump the kid at her parents or some other similar option.
For years my wife would try to compromise and placate the SpermCLan until we finally put our foot down and forced them to accommodate us.
Things got much easier once we did that.
Yes, the kid should have a relationship with the NCP and the NCP’s family. However, if the NCP won’t be reasonable then they get what the CO stipulates and nothing more.
Best regards,