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SS and divorcing his Dad

Elle36's picture

Submitted by Elle36 on Fri, 04/25/2008 - 10:13am

Husband and I are divorcing after only 3.5 years of marriage. Divorce will be final the end of May and we have a 8 month old together and he has an 8 year old from previous marriage. I currently have possession of "his house" he built for his first wife and son. I was SS true care giver for the three years. Got kid ready for school, I am off work all summer SS and I went to the pool , buy him his clothes etc, take him and friends places... Lately when Dad has been coming to get daughter for his visitation he has had SS with him. This kid is seeing me in his house, in his neighborhood, with all his friends outside. I guess the kid is back in counceling. I don't want to see the SS at all. I really do not want him at the house. And I can't believe Dad is putting kid in this situation. I am sure SS is wondering why I get to live in the house and his little Half-sister gets to stay in house and he can't. Do I say something to Dad and tell him I'd rather SS not be at home for pick-ups and drop-off of daughter. Or do I just chalk it up to Dad is an idiot to put his son through that.

Comments

Elizabeth's picture

Submitted by Elizabeth on Fri, 04/25/2008 - 12:18pm

Is that dad wants his children to have a relationship. That he has SS at the same time as he has your daughter tells me he wants the two of them to be together. And he can't exactly leave SS8 at home alone for pickups of your daughter, right?

I think you have to let go of how this might be affecting SS as you have no legal right to say he can't be there during exchanges. Poor kid!

Elle36's picture

Submitted by Elle36 on Fri, 04/25/2008 - 1:14pm

He has to pick up son too. So pick up son after he picks up daughter or drop son off first. Son is capable of getting in and out of a car himself. Dad dopesn't have to go to the door to get son and put him in a car seat.

ColorMeGone2's picture

Submitted by ColorMeGone2 on Sat, 04/26/2008 - 7:20am

I'd just tell him it makes you uncomfortable and probably makes his son uncomfortable, too, and ask him to please pick up SS last and drop him off first. That may or may not be possible, depending on what time he's supposed to pick each child up and drop each child off, but if it is possible, he'll never know you want him to do this if you don't ask him. It probably never occurred to him that this might not be the best scenario for everyone.

♥ Georgia, the un-stepmom ♥

"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)