I was off by a year, and that makes it's worse.

I don't know why, but I thought Redface Magee was 9 and I found out this last weekend nope, he's 10. So, he's older than my youngest and I feel that with all things considered it makes it worse.
An example:
Right now Redface Magee and STA sleep on our couch, they do that because the bed they had, RFM peed all over it, every damn night over the summer. There was no flipping the matress or scrubbing, it smelled like a dirty mens gas station bathroom in their room because of that matress. Well this weekend I went to bed super early and wasn't awake to tell him make sure Redface puts on a pull up. So, guess what my couch smelled like??
I was livid. This is second time he's peed on my couch, and I've had just about enough of it. I told DH Saturday morning that he's 9 years old, this is rediculous, to which DH corrected me, nope he's 10.
10!!!
Ten years old and still pissing himself. WHAT. THE. HELL?
BS9 was 4 the last time he had an accident, BS14 was 5. That was the oldest any of my kids were when the last pee accident happened. 5. DH and I got into it a little bit.
DH - He's special
Me - No he's not, he's like any other little brat who gets whatever he wants when ever he wants it.
DH - It's not like he wakes up just to pee on the couch.
(before I go on let me just say, yes I know my argument was insane, I merely wanted to point out the nastiness of sitting in someone's pee so nasty little remarks about it will be highly ignored.)
Me - new dog is 3 months old and if she pees on the carpet you rub her nose in it and spank her ass, maybe you should think about doing that with Redface Magee.
DH - Are you saying Redface is a dog?
Me- No, what I'm saying is new dog at 3 months old already knows not to piss all over the couch, so I'm saying she listens better and has more self discipline then RFM.
DH - She's a dog.
Me - Yeah, one who already knows not to piss on anything in the house.
Nothing else was said after that. He stayed in the living room all day playing video games with his kids and I stayed in our bedroom. Redface was made to wear a pull up that night, and that seemed ok to him. I didn't forget to give him his diaper so I'm a good dad.
Am I really the only one who sees something wrong with a 10 year old having to wear a diaper?

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SS was the same way. Didn't

SS was the same way. Didn't stop until he was around 12. I insisted DH do something about it. I wasn't changing sheets, having a ruined mattress or dealing with nasty smelling pullups in his room. SS was still wearing pullups at night as well and they barely fit him. I told DH they obviously weren't the solution. SS needed to learn to get up to go to the bathroom or hold it til morning like everyone else on the planet does. I told DH he should have SS checked for a medical problem and if none existed, he needed to do something different. Finally, DH ordered the alarm system underwear. After two months, SS was "cured".

So this is akin to peeing the

So this is akin to peeing the bed really, since that's what the couch is functioning as.

For the mattress, my SS has a bedwetting issue- it used to be peeing his pants, but that's mostly done now. we used heavy gauge plastic and wrapped that sucker. It still won't smell great, but it'll keep the mattress from getting ruined. He has to take care of his sheets/bedding every day he pees the bed. Last week we only had 2 wet out of 7, for him that's huge.

They wanted me to put ss in diapers. (yes, at 10.) But not only was that totally not going to happen, H tried it a few times and the kid peed ALL THE WAY THROUGH IT and still got the bed.

There are bedwetting alarms that might help you out as an alternative. H ended up having to wake SS up around 11 every night and that cut it down somewhat.

We tried the plastic sheets they sell for this problem and found them too weak- ss would rip the crap out of them even in one night with the amount of moving he did. Hence the heavier plastic that we change periodically.

Sadly, the first time he peed

Sadly, the first time he peed on the couch he wasn't sleeping. He didn't want to get up to use the bathroom so he just went and moved to a different cushion in the same pee pants. I don't know why this isn't dealt with at his moms, she's been called to the school because he peed at his desk, he's peed all over his bed there too. Of course DH's answer is pull ups. I can't see why this isn't being dealt with. Why this allowed and every one of them view it as normal. RFM and STA even joke about it.

(No subject)

:jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop:

BM and DH had the same

BM and DH had the same attitude about SS until I stepped in. They were perfectly content to just buy pullups and not deal with the problem. If you can get BM to go along with the alarm underwear, they work. The child wears the underwear to bed instead of the pullups. They look just like regular underwear. When they get wet, it wakes the child up. You still will need to have a plastic cover on the mattress and small leaks at first but it is way better than a completely soaked bed. The main thing is it WORKS. It isn't that expensive. I think DH paid around $130 for 4 pairs of underwear. We kept two at our house and two at BM's.

I finally convinced DH by pointing out how embarrassing it would be for SS if he went to a sleepover, etc. Pointing that out might also encourage SS to be on board. Peer pressure can sometimes be a good thing.

We got very close to this and

We got very close to this and heard great things about it- (it was next on my list actually) Definitely worth looking at

I tried mentioning the sleep

I tried mentioning the sleep over with friends and was told that he really doesn't have friends. He has online friends who he's not really allowed to get to know to much, there is a few kids at his school who don't mind socializing with him but none of the other kids in his class really want to be around him more than they have to. And, if he's comfortable with sitting on the couch, at a desk, at the movies in pee pants would the underwear even help? I mean he says said to DH that it doesn't bother him when his bed is wet.

Doesn't bother mine either.

Doesn't bother mine either. But he didn't like having to clean up after himself. Extra work was ultimately what changed things here. He's the smelly kid, he doesn't have many friends either.

I wanted the alarm so we would know and he could take care of it however many times it took, because THAT is what changed this issue. The extra work from this issue. For ours it's an "I don't feel like it". Laziness. So the more work his laziness creates... the less it works for him.

He'd be in pee clothes as long as people would let him.

I guess you are going to be

I guess you are going to be stuck with the situation until your DH decides it's a problem. If he continues to allow it and the child doesn't care, there won't be much you can do other than protect your property from getting ruined. You can buy the plastic covers for the mattress and make the child clean it up if your DH is on board with at least that much. Maybe the effort of cleaning it up every time would make him start to care about it.

Wow, yeah... I can relate

Wow, yeah... I can relate there. I don't know why it gets to be normal. I'd be mortified if it was one of my offspring and doing everything possible to get it under control.

hm. Did you do the whole (and yes, I know how moot this sounds but it's the only way to get past the "can't help it" argument) pediatrician/dr check out etc thing?

SS was cleared of any medical issues and did not respond to the medication that would have signified a medical/physical issue. But not everyone is.

Because once the child is cleared of medical issue, you can move on to other tier issues and get at the real problem.

He quit peeing his pants because I made him wash them by hand every time and he had to be checked periodically for dryness. The bed... is getting better. But I know and could prove it was willful. If you can't it does make the argument more complex.

Yeah, no medical condition.

Yeah, no medical condition. When he's sleeping if he goes he'll just put his pillow there and lay on it but his pissy clothes don't bother him. The other times, he's doing something or watching something he does't want to stop to go to the bathroom. Since it's always been ok, he thinks it's ok.

SD used to do that too. One

SD used to do that too. One day I smelled poop and thought one of the dogs had an accident. SO and I were looking all over the living room while SD sat on the recliner watching TV. Turns out, she pooped her pants and was sitting in it watching us look for dog poop. SO and I were so mad. That recliner went into the trash.