DO your skids give presents?
Yet another year pissed off that my ss15.5 has not bothered to buy a token present for my dh. I don’t expect anything for me or his baby half brother and sister here but i do expect for him to buy my oh something. He he worked for my oh last summer and earned enough for Ann iPhone plus gets pocket money. When we collected him yesterday he just talked about all the presents bm had got him. I mentioned last year he should start buying something small for his dad like a cup would prob cost a whole5 dollars.
When I mentioned it to oh he said it was the same as my 2 year old not buying me something which really did tick me off ... so is this true or is this rude like I feel it is. So over him and his selfishness.
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I didn't buy presents until I
I didn't buy presents until I had a steady part-time job at 17. Actually, I may have waited until I was moved out to buy anything for anyone except my BF/XH.
I don't find it odd for kids to not buy their parents gifts, even as adults. I WOULD find it odd if a kid bought one parent something but not the other. That, to me, crosses over into rude.
I always bought my parents
I always bought my parents presents but I did work from a young age but even before then my parents gave me money to buy token gifts. I’m a giver so I find him so rude with all the money stuffed in his wallet that he didn’t think to even spend 5 on oh. I seriously don’t see him improving as he got older. He is the complete opposite to my oh he’s so generous, if you borrowed one dollar from ss he’d keep going on and on about it until you gave him back 2.
I would take the lead from
I would take the lead from your DH: If he isn't offended, don't let it bother you. If he is, he needs to take it up with his son.
When kids are underage I
When kids are underage I agree with giving them money to buy some token gifts. In our family we do a secret santa gift giving. We put everyone's name in a hat and draw names for giver and receiver so that each person is only responsible for buying one other person a gift. It cuts down on the cost of Xmas presents while assuring everyone still gets at least one gift. For us it is more about spending time together as a family then the presents. If the kids are young, under 10 then anyone can buy them presents also the matriarch of the family remains neutral, anyone can buy her a gift if they want. This system has been working out for our family because we don't really have young kids anymore, they are all growing up. We also sometimes to a white elephant gift exchange in addition to the secret santa and that just for fun.
I bought my mom and stepdad
I bought my mom and stepdad gifts every year. But, I was TAUGHT to do so from an early age. What do you expect from the kid if no one bothered to lay the foundation ehen he was a kid?(his parents not you).
My sister and I passed the same lessons on to our children. My son is 26 and her kids are 20, 18, 12 and 11.
I agree Disney. I already buy
I agree Disney. I already buy presents that the babies give and expect when they are old enough to have pocket money that they buy token gifts . I think my oh is secretly bothered he never really had gifts as a child so we make a big deal of getting thoughtful presents, it’s omportant to my so but he sees it as an attack on ss - same as when he doesn’t wash for 3/4 days I’m the mean one only saying it because it’s ss. Usually I say nothing but it really bothered me yesterday especially because he acted so spoiled.
This is my complaint from
This is my complaint from yesterday -
When SS19 came home he told us he only had $150 and still had to buy BM and GBM and GBD something but could he borrow the money? :jawdrop: I told SO that he could take that out of HIS account. I do not mind lending him money for GBM but there was NO WAY I would give a dime for DBBM!
Well seems SS19 had been stashing envelopes of his tips when he was home this summer and SO found an envelope with $200 that belong to SS19. He then told him - don't worry about buying me or classy anything, just get your brother and the others.
I told SS19 when SO left the room that at least get him a "worlds best dad" mug or oversized mug for ice cream. Nope! Nothing! I know SO didn't care but I took it personally. My heart hurts for SO sometimes.
SS15? UGH that kid - but the one thing he did do---he has asked me to buy a necklace from Etsy for his girlfriend. Only $17. He took it Friday morning to school to give to her and she broke up with as soon as they got there so of course he didn't give it to her. When SS19 asked SS15 what he wanted to get BM he said he was just going to give the necklace to her. He brought me out $20 to pay me back LOL
You are right, he could have
You are right, he could have bought his dad something. A coffee mug, key chain, heck even a card. Skids didn't even text or call DH yesterday. It really ticks me off because DH made sure he got them EVERYTHING they wanted.
I feel this is a prelude into adulthood.
OSD didn't buy us (me or DH)
OSD didn't buy us (me or DH) anything, but has gotten presents for both of us in the past. She and her DH have a baby and new house, so I imagine that buying presents was getting tight and honestly my DH is a HORRIBLE present buyer. If I don't buy it, the girls haven't gotten it.
YSD did buy us stuff, but honestly I am ok with them not getting us things because they are young and have limited means.
In the past decade I've
In the past decade I've received ONE gift from SS32. A gift certificate to a nail salon. I'd bet a zillion dollars that DH bought that gift certificate and had SS give it to me. It was when DH was trying to get SS back into my life in baby steps. I don't get my nails done on a regular basis - maybe a pedicure once or twice a year. I'm surprised that DH even knew where I went.
Meanwhile I'd given SS, his many GFs that he mooched off of and his child (now 2) many gifts plus expensive dinners, etc. Even a trip to the LSU/Alabama game several years ago when that was a BIG deal.
To be fair - for most of that time SS was dead broke and semi-homeless. He wasn't buying presents for anyone - just booze and drugs for himself. And for the past 9 months he is totally out of my life. The best present for me will be if I never see him again ever.
My Skids didn’t buy anything,
My Skids didn’t buy anything, but they did draw me some pictures
it was sweet of them! Some for me and some for DH. They’re little and I didn’t want a repeat of mother’s day Where DH “helped” the girls with BM’s and then I had this gian card, in DH’s handwriting, with the ex’s first name, paid for by me (DH is a full time student) sittingon the House. So we just didn’t bother. Lol. They did the drawings for us on their own.