I think even knowing I would have said yes. Though I don't put up with quite the same drama as many of you. I am lucky in the aspect that DH decided when he got divorced he wouldn't be the Disney dad and he would continue to be the same dad that he would have been. This simply means that I get blamed for a lot of things.

I have been able to disengage from my skids for the most part. And by that I mean I understand that DH has two families. He has his and he has ours. His is his him and skids. Ours is my dd18 that is not his and our dd11. I no longer even try to pretend we are a blended family. I do not think of them as my family. Therefore I do not have to worry if I attend their games, their activities, I don't worry about their clothing, their grades or their feelings in being blended into one family. The only time I really stress anymore is at holidays. And I diminish that every year.

I will say that my lack of being involved has been noticed by skids, and bm. I attended one sporting game in two years of ss and I only went because I could not find a reasonable reason not to go. I came home to an email from BM saying how much ss appreciated my attendance- that he liked having his whole family there to watch him. I simply emailed back and said DH and I divide and conquer and kids activities overlap. I left it at that.

I know longer rise to the occasion and I am beginning to realize that she really only had the control I gave her. Yes she "destroyed" my family by playing her games.....but really it was only her kids that were hurt by it. Mine are intact and ok- because I can counter her effect the skids have into my house.

Ok it's my story and I'm sticking to it

I dont think I would have not married him; however, I likely would have waited a bit longer and I would have done things much differently where ss was concerned.

DH and I had conselling for a while. She made it very clear that the marriage was her patient. Not DH,not me, but the marriage.She was very big on negotiation skills. My DH never felt he needed to go because he felt I was the one with a problem, not him. After a few sessions he just announced to her that he felt his wife had a lot of problems and I should continue going so she could fix me. She smiled so sweetly and agreed with him. From then on my meetings with her consisted of learning to get what I wanted out of life by learning negotiation skills. She was the most charming, older European lady. Icould never imagine her asking if knowing what I knew then would I have still married. NEVER IN FRONT OF HIM. That would have caused so much hurt it would have finished off the marriage. She did surprise me when she pointed out that in our case if DH were to think something was "his idea" then I could obtain it. "Was this settling as the under dog?" She said no, this was negotiation,he thinks he wins because he came up with the idea for the solution to problems. You win because it was exactly what you wanted him to do. It reminded me of the movie MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING the part where the women are discussing among themselves how to get the daughter the bookkeeping job in the family business.Next thing the old man is bragging like he saved the day by coming up with the idea to use her skills in the family business.

Have you read "The Enlightened Stepmother..." If not - you should. I just finished it and it was full of good advice. And I'd like to point out that at the end of the book - this question was asked and I believe the majority was a big fat NO. Sure, some said yes - in the end all of this made them a stronger and better person - so do NOT feel guilty and by this point - your DH should have obviously known the answer to this question.

No, I never would. I have gone through so much pain in this relationship, and I have discovered that I am not cut out to be in a relationship where there is another woman, even if she is just an ex. This was painful to realized, but now I am just numb to it. I love my husband so much, and my feelings towards this is not his fault, he is not a Disney dad, he does not let BM bulldoze him, and he is a wonderful person, all of these feelings lay on my shoulders. I cannot stomach that my husband is attached this wench for the rest of my life. It makes me sick.

I have not discovered the "joy" that he thought being stepmother to his children would bring, and I fear that I will die that bitter woman early because if I am feeling these feelings so close to our wedding day (a little over a year ago) then what will I feel in the future? I feel that my soul dies a little every time I think of her or hear her name. This is not the life that I wanted and I do not know how I could have been so stupid to sign up willingly for this.

God really must have a plan for my life, but at this moment I do not know what it is. My husband always tells me that there would have been pain in any relationship, just different pain, but I feel that I deserve to have a better life. I feel that I deserve that my husband only has children with me, was only married to me…selfish? Perhaps, but at this moment, I don’t care.

I got into this relationship too young and I see that now. I didn’t get to live my life as young person should. I met my husband when I was 18. 5 years later we married. I never got to experience different people. I feel like I was tricked, and kept around until he figured out his situation. I was too young to grasp the severity of the situation, and I would never, ever do it again, nor wish this situation on my worst enemy. He keeps telling me to leave if I feel this way, but frankly, I love him, and I have made my bed… now I need to lay in it. At the moment I am very depressed now. He says things will get better, and time will heal my wounds, but I know that it will never make her go away, or the decision that I made better… so I feel like what am I waiting for, death? Sorry to bring anyone’s Monday down, just my feelings at the moment.

that's a hard one for me, i can't imagine life without dh, however, life without skids, i wouldn't mind, it's a package deal, so i'm working with my self on that, but THANK GOD he knows how i feel on the matter