I am a SM of four (2 B's 26,28 / 2 G's 20,25) for over 9 years and I have a Bio son who is 25.

This is my first time reaching out to a forum for some acknowledgement of how truly
gut wrenching of a difficult task it is to be a Step Parent at times.
The pain I am currently feeling has been the top of the bar !

I have been there for my SD through many relationships she has struggled with boys,
high school issues, prom dresses, college, difficulties with her Bio mom and
dad whom i married, helped her with her living arrangements, health issues,
her relationships with her siblings and struggles with substance abuse and been
there for her traveling far to be there for the birth of her son when her own
Bio Mother would not. Offering my time to her new baby when her own Bio mother failed to follow through.
The pain cuts deep.
I have never felt such pain in my life.
Unfortunately her bio dad whom i married isn't any help at all at this point.

My SD and her Bo with new Baby in tow came to live with us 7 months ago.
It was to be for a "short term" which you can all see that it wasn't.
We have had a good solid relationship over these past years.
But as of late, its in shambles.
Their little family consumes almost half of the space in our home, which is ok
because it's the upstairs. My son who was upstairs, is now downstairs in a space
of 7 X 12.5 foot room ? with a queen bed . yes queen size LOL
Yes i am aware he could get his own place, as is he. Which is why he does everything
I ask of him, mind you I do still have to ask, but I'm ok with asking.
He is a very respectful person.
SD complaints started when she found out that my son currently doesn't chip in financially and why should they have to. They refer to it as "RENT". Well as all of you parents who have allowed your kids back at home, $200 for a family of 3, certainly is NOT rent. It's to cover the extra cost that you are adding to your bills. Which I myself cover, including water / sewer, gas heat, gas water heater, gas cooking, and electric (electric dryer...UGH). So MY personal bills have gone up, not her Bio fathers bills. Before SD and Fam moved in we also had her younger sibling who chose to move out before they got there. My trade off with my Bio son was to clean, which I personally don't care to take the time to, and my Hubby doesn't do at all. While any of our kids lived home no one to pay in if they were in college was my motto.
Before SD and Fam moved in I was told by SD that I wouldn't have to ever clean the bathroom or do any dishes. Well you can all guess that it didn't last long before that stopped happening. In fact a very short time.
SD had originally stated how nice it would be for her to purchase
a shed for her father because he's so nice in letting them all move in, and she wanted to show him her appreciation. Wasn't that a nice thought.

My current oven didn't work for some time. I had planned on getting a new soon. SD suggested,that in Lou of handing me $200 every month that she would put it on her CC and make payments because they were not working yet. I agreed that it would be fine. Then not even a spoon got washed that they themselves didn't actually dirty. When I questioned why, I was told that they pay rent so they don't have to do our dishes, or clean anymore. SD also made a recent request to have their "rent" lowered. YEH she really did. I said that I myself could not afford to pick up the extra costs. So "NO".

I then requested her to pick only two days out of the entire month to clean the bathroom. which SD marked. SD cleaned the first and third Sundays...in February. Myself and my Bio son did the rest. Just last Sunday I noticed that the bathroom wasn't cleaned. I looked on the calendar, and it was SD's turn. I waited till Monday...not clean still...so Monday after work I politely asked if SD had yet. She said No, and I'm not going to. I asked again, she said NO.
I asked why...she said because the toilet was discussing, and she shouldn't have to.
Wait it gets better..
I said well who do you think is going to clean it, it is your turn
....Hold on to your socks !!! ... she said well, I'm not, I don't shit here.
I said excuse me.
She repeated herself. SD then stated how she only shits at work. I said I don't care, Bio son and I don't ask who shit before we clean.
I then realized that she had no intentions at all to do anything in that bathroom. So I bit,I yelled, "Don't do a Dam thing and I guess well just go back to me doing everything."
I stopped into the LR where Hubby was enjoying himself watching TV, he asked. What the hell happen in there, I told him to go ask his daughter. Well, I got home a bit late and the toilet was cleaned. But come to find out SD said I was intimidating and berating to her, and my Hubby cleaned the toilet.

I received a text that evening. That they would be moving out this weekend, and that the baby would be going to daycare because she didn't want them to be the cause of my stress anymore.

So, I am being punished from spending time with my grandson because I yelled at my SD.