SS13 came to visit this past weekend for the first time in eight months (?). It went really really well. BM even offered to do half the driving. When she brought him down BM and SO talked for twenty or so minutes and then SO called me and said BM wanted to talk to me. I thought oh shit, what does she want now. She has always been very rude, condescending and has even called me multiple foul names in the past. What she said could have given me a heart attack. She apologized for everything she has said to me, and apologized for her past behaviors. She stated that she should have never acted like that, and she THANKED ME for everything that I have done for SS. She said she should have appreciated the fact that I took care of SS, loved him and did everything I could for him. She said that she hopes going forward we can all get along and work together to make SS life easier. She even invited us to go out to dinner with her, the kids and her SO. I about fainted. She really may have grown up, she seems to be doing the best she can for SS and her other kids. I told SO and I explained that even if she is just playing games I suggest we also play nice, just in case she is really trying to make an effort, but not to get too friendly. Basically be cordial, but not overly friendly. BM even went so far as to tell me that if I need anything or “just want to talk” I could call her. I won’t do that, but I did make a point to text her to say thank you for the diner invite and that we had a great visit.

Anyways, the vist went amazingly. SS is going to start coming down EOWE, and we all had a great time. I was a little concerned at first because SO decided that we were going to do a bunch of “fun” stuff with SS. I was worried that we would start playing the whole Disney parent role, but before SS left SO explained that we wouldn’t be doing things like that everytime he came for a visit. That this was just a special visit were we happened to have some extra cash to go out. SS was nice, talkative, polite, respectful and THANKFUL. He talked to me about his school, his girlfriends, his hobbies, his mom, everything. I was floored. Not what I expected at all.

Both BM and SS are in counseling, and it really seems to be making a difference. I am so happy that he is starting to have a healthy relationship (as far as I can tell) with his mom, and that he is starting to rebuild his relationship with his dad. SO also made a kind of funny comment, because the visitation schedule has basically flipped, we now get to be the people who have fun with SS but don’t have to worry about the daily fights. (chores, homework ect). Granted there will still be rules at our house, and we will NOT undermine whatever rules BM sets for SS. It was just a great weekend all the way around. Hopefully this continues to go well.

It seems like SS has gotten some perspective living with BM, and that BM has changed for the better. I know not having SS in the house has given me some time and space to think rationally about everything that happened and were we went wrong. It seems like everything is working out and that SS is really benefiting for being with is mom. He needs a good relationship with both parents, and it seems like this may be the start of it. Only time will tell though.