Here we go
Have not had to post in awhile-no headaches until of course we reach out to BM about summer dates and our wedding.
She of course does not want to accomodate- and is making things difficult. Doesn't like the timeframe for summer and wants to change it, even though SD has come the same time frame the last few years. We need her here so we can get her dress ordered for the wedding.
BM took her out of school 2 weeks before spring break to go away for a week (instead of waiting until spring break), did not report it to the school correctly, then we were getting emails about truancy because she did not report correctly. When they got back, guess what, it was not her fault, it was the teachers fault BM did not report through school website.
The she tells us no judge will let SD out of school for a week, three weeks after school starts. Okay I get it not ideal, but it is what it is.But it was okay for BM to take SD out 2 weeks before spring break for a week??
Then she brings up money, even though DH has been helping more its of course still not enough. He should pay more child support, why you ask? Because BM only works part-time! Must be nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
End of Rant.
Comments
Am I reading this correctly
Am I reading this correctly that you were hoping to take SD out of school for a week for your wedding? TBH.. you actually didn't agree with the fact that she had done it prior to spring break.. and in reality.. her school clearly made it's opinions known about that not being acceptable... so I don't see a huge issue with the idea that it would not be a good idea going forward.
The reality is that if she was to be included in the wedding.. it should have been clearly planned on his time.
As far as BM "wanting" money? whatever their divorce/custody agreement said.. and in line with state guidelines is what would be his obligation... I don't think they normally will assess more for someone's voluntary choice to be under employed.. but if their agreement was he was going to pay extra so she could attend job training or something for some time? I guess that means he already agreed to that in theory?
I agree with ESMOD here. If
I agree with ESMOD here. If you don't agree with BM taking her out of school before spring break, then you shouldn't agree to taking her out of school for a week for your wedding. The double standards don't work. Now yes, you have no control over what BM does on her time, but your wedding falls on BM's time, so she is within her right to say "No" whether you like it or not. If you wanted to guarantee SD's attendance, it should have been planned during DH's parenting time, or you'll have to go to court to get an exception, which may be denied.
Is there a CO that outlines summer dates to a tee or is it flexible? If it's flexible and gives BM power to dictate, maybe you need it changed to be more air tight. Also, CS - if your DH pays CS based on court order, then pay that amount and nothing more. BM can gripe all she wants about money, but your DH is only obligated to pay what is on paper and if BM doesn't like it, she can work more.
The part I dont agree with is
The part I dont agree with is BM thinks its okay for her to miss on their account but not ours. I have no issue with the fact they took her out just the fact that its not okay for us but its okay for her to do so. I mean I get it who wants their kid out of school for a week, its 4 days for us because of Labor Day, and she can bring her computer and still do her work while she is here. I know not ideal, but BM did move her out of state and her dad would like her to be here for the wedding. I know nothing is ideal but it is what is, BM moved her out of state so is she supposed to miss a family event and seeing her family and grandparents and cousins she never gets to see?
He is a father who over extends in what he provides and its a BM who just wants more and more to suit herself.
I am not playing double
I am not playing double standards here, if I said I thought it was okay I mistyped. The issue is why is okay for BM to do it and not us??? Hey if she cant be here she cant be here but it is what it is. Not my loss if SD misses out, just trying to include her. Luckily we know the judge so I am sure when we get a court document it will be granted no issue there :)
I am not playing double
I am not playing double standards here, if I said I thought it was okay I mistyped. The issue is why is okay for BM to do it and not us??? Hey if she cant be here she cant be here but it is what it is. Not my loss if SD misses out, just trying to include her. Luckily we know the judge so I am sure when we get a court document it will be granted no issue there :)