SD has resented me for years
I don't know what to make to this
SD and I barely associate with each other . I mean there's minimal interaction but that's all. I'm on edge when she's around and she rather prefers if BS and I don't associate with her at all. How she is with me is an complete 180 from how she with others. From teachers to friends to family to random adults, she's warm but with me she's very ice like.
Compared to what I've read about other SD's here, she's the polar oppsite: honors student, involved with extracurricular activites, has a social live, not entilited, works part time, respectful/kind (to anyone whose not me).
I've always known she does not like me but now she's openly starting to show it:
- A close friend of DH said he has a beautiful family and she jumped and corrected him and asked if they not refer to us as a family and that I'm not her mother and BS isn't her brother and requested them to never make that assumption again. I'm not trying to replace BM and will never try but BS is her half sibling. DH did talk to her in private and she wasn't punished. DH did say he can't punish her for simply stating her opinion (which was her defence).
- Her interactions with BS. She's turning 16 in a few weeks and BS is 4. Yes, the age difference probaly plays a factor . She's not rude or violent towards BS. She's indifferent. Most of the time, she'll ask BS to either find myself or DH. She also refuses to badysit BS. Now I'm not saying we're demanding she looks after BS but rather supervise him on the rare occation. She told DH that he's not her responsibilty and he has 2 parents that are responsible for him. What I find interesting is that she'll glady babysit ANYONE else. I mean people actually recommended her.
- She'll glady DH and show him affection. I'm not asking for her to love me or anything. Just basic respect but I get noting but one word answers (Hello. Goodbye etc).
- While bringing groceries from the car, I fell and I know she saw me. Instead of coming out to see if I was okay, she just walked away.
BM is also not like other BMs I've read about on here. She's wealthy but doesn't spoil SD. She is raising SD to be independent. SD has a good work ethnic She understands right from wrong. BM has always made time for SD. DH is actually is far less strict with SD than BM is and SD loves and respects both of BM and DH. She's doesn't cause problems. Since the whole me calling SD a b*tch while venting to my friend fiasco, she's settled down.
DH finally has opened his eyes somewhat and put SD in therapy. He did discuss with BM about the situation and she told him that anything that happens inside our home isn't her problem. She won't bring up anything with SD about what occurs in our home. Since SD isnt behaving like herself in our home, then the issue is inside our home.
The circumstances in which SD and I met wasn't ideal. DH and I weren't supposed to be more than FWB but I ended up getting pregnant. We decided to keep it and wanted to work this out. I met SD the same year DH and BM divorce was finalized. It was either that or wait until I was very pregnant. We had to pick the lesser of the two evils and I can sympathize with her and understand her resentment. I never tried to come between DH and her. When she would come over, I made myself scarce so she could have DH to herself. For a time, she was very quiet even with DH. It wasn't until I went through a miscarriage that SD started to behave like her normal self again. She was all warm and fuzzy to DH and developed a coldness towards me.
DH stopped discussing their sessions with me when SD said she just would walk away if I got hit by a bus. She explained to DH that she only comes to spend time with him. Not me or BS and we're not a family and she doesn't need nor want a relationship with us. Their therapist is saying this is years of resentment that is starting to come out. Their sessions are essentially her venting and DH aborbing it all . His defensiveness of SD is at a all time high. She loves her father dearly that much is certain and he knows that but I find it incredibly difficult to be around her when she carries so much animosity towards me and blatant disrespect. DH thinks we should just continue to ignore each others existence. DH thinks she's not outwardly being disrespectful and therefore, he can't give her consequences. I disagree but he's made it perfectly clear that I have no say in anything when it comes to his darling DD.