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I am so glad we don't have THIS problem on top of everything else. My skids have a room here full of clothes and they wear things from their mom's to our house and it gets washed and folded and put away and the same goes for BM's house. Neither party "withholds" any clothing. The only issues we have is when Team uniforms are forgotten at one another's house and there's the mad dash to go get them.

******My daddy always said: "It's better to be a SMARTASS, than a DUMBASS!******

day i did as middlemom did, but now the skids are older and i have just decided f it.....it's a never ending battle.. b/c they always take the brand new nice stuff i buy them home to BM's and come back in rags or sd12 in slutty stuff i would never allow........just let it go --- what can you do about it -- i ask them to bring the stuff back and it falls on deaf ears..... just quit buying them nice stuff --- just the basics that they need- that's what i have decided after they did the same exact thing with school clothes this year...... i've decided if they can't at least look decent (since i do provide them with clothes to look decent) i just will not take them places with me...... i am sm, but they look like bio kids from afar--- same hair/eyes

We do not have this problem, but here is my thinking... If the boys are teens they should be responsible enough to take care of and keep track of there things. They lost their new school pants? Ohh well.. when they lose all of their new clothes, they will be wearing the ones from last year. Maybe a few months of high waters will make them a little more responsible. Natural consequences are sometimes the best lesson.

"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours" Wayne Dyer

We wash and send SD back in the clothes she came in on Friday. HOWEVER: FH bought SD a VERY nice pair of earrings for valentines day that she really wanted. They both magically dissapeared out of her ears while sleeping never to be found again at BM's house. But when she is here for 2 weeks at a time she wears the same pair of earrings the entire time with NO problems. BM's just like to play petty games, not realizing that its the children that they are hurting. We have learned to never let SD take anything nice from our house to her mother's house.

She could be doing it out of spite. Who knows! I agree with the posters who've said to let it go. They are old enough to keep track of THEIR clothes. I emphasize "THEIR" because the way I see it, the clothes don't belong to the household, but rather to the kid. This is a foreign concept to our BM who only has SS9 EOW and has what appears to be a full wardrobe of clothes for him at her house, which he is "not allowed" to take from her house to ours. She buys him clothes EOW and then says that he can't take them to wear them to school over here. To me, she's only punishing and spiting SS9 by withholding his clothes and only allowing him to wear some of the on the EOW visits with her. I don't care if he leaves the clothes we buy over at her house. The only time it was an issue was when all of his long sleeved shirts and long pants were left at her house and he needed them for school when it got colder. And that was a need issue, not a territorial issue. I've been tempted to mark the labels to keep track but honestly, I don't give a rat's a$$.

We no longer worry or make an issue of it. Both kids have clothes at each house and wear them as the wish. What they are wearing on transfer days is not necessarily returned. They might wear it back at some point, they might not. We used to make an issue of this and it was really bothering and stressing the kids so we stopped. It still bothers us some as we know we "lose" of a lot of their nice clothes and sometimes never see them again, but don't want to create any more tension. Bottom line is their clothes are their clothes. Yes, we spend more money on clothes and buy more clothes than BM, but have just had to accept that. BM is cheap, but we don't want the kids to be caught in the middle of this.

BM does the same exact thing in my situation!!! My husband and I buy tons of clothes (both school and non-school), socks, underwear, undershirts and they magically disappear when they enter the time warp of BMs house. She always says that the only clothes there are the ones she bought. That's completely impossible when my husband and I drop the kids off at school or her house and they're wearing the clothes we bought. I stay on top of the laundry and the kids have to keep their rooms clean so it's not like the clothes are shoved somewhere and I'm overlooking them. I don't have an issue with the non-school clothes but I do with the school clothes because by the end of 2 weeks almost all of the clothes have found their way to BMs house. My main thing is I don't see why I should have to constantly do small loads of laundry to keep the kids in clean school clothes when my house purchased so many. One of the kids even took underwear from our house to BMs house because he "didn't have any clean"...so apparently they never do laundry There clothes are definitely their clothes but I'm tired of running laundry because she's keeping it all of their clothes that we purchased at her house. If she purchased more clothes for them then there wouldn't be a problem because both households would have enough clothes, you know?

New here -
We have 50/50 custody and each house is supposed to provide their own clothes. We however seem to buy more clothes and the "cooler" clothes. Mom buys a few things but nothing compared to what we buy. Our problem is SD13 tries to sneak clothes over to her moms. House rules are you don't take anything over there on Mom's week because it never is seen again. She tries to sneak into our house on Mom's week and take over the new stuff. Countless things have never been seen again. Just fought with her on Monday about this. I don't get involved, but she waited until she knew her Dad was out of the house and tried to get a new shirt. I said NO she called me names and I told her to leave. Let the drama begin. BM said she didn't see the problem when DH told her what happened.

Of course not, she never buys much so it is great for her if we supply everything. The clothes they wear over we can't do anything about. But we are not going to allow a bag to be packed with more stuff. Last month it was all the hair care products I had just picked up for her. Caught that one as the bag was going out the door. Dad did and flipped out. $40 dollars worth of Personal care products we would never see again and have to replace the following week. DH gets frustrated with ex and tries to explain to her to no avail. We just look like we are mean.