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And it begin folks....can't say I didn't see this coming..SD is going the same as GWR

halo1998's picture

As we know SD was in jeopardy of not graduation.  DH let her know in under no circumastances that is not ok.  SD has gotten her form filled out, etc.  However, needless to say the conversation between SD and DH was a bit tense...and DH was very stern.  (as he should be)

SD had a well-child appointment..the last one that DH will ever have to do as SD will be 18 in 218 days..and thus ending DH's responsibility for SD's healthcare.

In this appointment SD had the following complaints/issues..

1.  Her stomach hurts all the time.

2.  She has issues with pooping.

3.  She doesn't like her face creams, etc from the dermatologist..they burn.

4.  SD gained 30 pounds in a year and is now over 200 pounds at 5 foot 1.  She is now obese.

5.  SD won't take her ADHD meds..they make her feel funny and she wants to manage them on her own.

6. Sd is depressed and says she thinks about harming herself. 

7. SD's periods are light and sometimes don't come at all.

8. SD doesn't sleep well and thinks she has sleep apea.  (Nah..girl its cause your like Beaver and take a nap when you get home and then spend the night on the phone yapping.)



Poor DH was blindsided by all of these complaints and issues (except for the weight...he knew she had gained weight).  He has no idea what to do about any of this. The pediatrician now wants to meet with SD and Beaver..since Beaver didn't show up. (what...she didn't show...color me shocked..NOT)

Almost all of these ailments are the exact same that SS..aka GWR had right before he noped out of our lives.  The only thing right now that is different than SS is that SD doesn't seem to be self medicating with booze or drugs..but who knows.   I told DH..honestly I would just Beaver handle this things at this point.  DH had SD in counseling but SD didn't like she wouldn't participate.  He tried several dermatogists and last year SD had a full work up, multiple rounds of blood work ,etc and all found she had no issues. 

So...when Dh asked I said I would just let Beaver handle it..and if SD wants to move to Beaver's permanently, then let her.  We have 218 days until SD turns 18...not worth the fight at this  point.  Maybe that is cold...but this sounds just like SS..only a little bit later.  



AgedOut's picture

she learned from her mother and brother. I'm not too shocked that she's chosing to take this path. 

advice.only2's picture

I hope the pediatrician takes her seriously and gets some testing done, too often women are minimized by doctors and everything is equated to “just diet and exercise” or “are you pregnant”.   My best friend’s daughter was a svelte active dancer when she suddenly gained 50 lbs. in over a year, everybody told her to watch her diet, but she wasn’t eating anything she hadn’t before.  She was finally diagnosed with PCOS after a doctor actually took the time to listen to her symptoms and do some actual work.

halo1998's picture

as it is awful.  They are doing another blood work panel and a hormone panel as well. So they should be able to determine if she has PCOS. My own DD has PCOS so we are familiar with that.

Honestly, at this point...I say just let Beaver handle this.

advice.only2's picture

I totally agree, as long as the steps are being taken, it really is all on the patient (SD) and her parents.  

PetSpoiler's picture

Has she been checked for food sensitivity?  My daughter has a few according to a blood test.  It's caused stomach and pooping issues.  The allergy specialist was absolutely no help unfortunately.  

Winterglow's picture

Particularly gluten and lactose. Despite family tendencies, she can still have other issues.

halo1998's picture

I'm lactose intolerent....severely, I know the signs and symptoms.  SD amazingly has no issue with that at our house.  Why?  Because we don't eat crap for every meal.  Fast food is a once in awhile thing or if we are on a road trip.

halo1998's picture

full testing for food sensitvity and allergies.  Nada

Her issues are are result of a steady of diet of fast food at Beaver's. We went through this same thing with SS..aka GWR.  They eat McDonanlds or KFC or whatever fast food Beaver wants.  The pediatrician has told Beaver and GWR that the fast food is the issue.

let me say this.....Beaver is also obese..we are talking pusing 300 pounds and she is only 5 foot 1 inches tall.  

grannyd's picture

Oh, how it infuriates me when gross parental failure results in obese youngsters! Neglecting a child’s diet, to the degree that their health is permanently damaged, is an inexcusable form of child abuse. 

A seriously overweight child, like halo’s SD, should have been removed from her mother’s care years ago, before her obesity became, essentially, irreversible. 

The damage to this youngster is both physical and psychological since it’s almost impossible for a teenaged girl to have a modicum of self-esteem when her appearance (at 5-foot, 1 inch and over 200 pounds!) invites ridicule and shame. 


Rags's picture

to weight and health issues.  As such, empathy for people who do this to themselves is not a particularly strong characteristic for me.

At some point, kidults need to own this stuff for themselves.

Not that a contributing idiot parent should ever be off the hook though.

BethAnne's picture

Wow, that's some list. Though they are probably all inter related. It can be hard to control your diet with adhd (i have adhd and it affects my inpusle control with food) not taking meds willl make that even harder. Not taking adhd meds could also bring on depression symptoms, especially if she isn't receiving adequate therapy to help develop strategies to cope with her adhd. Depression again makes controlling your diet hard. Poor diet can obviously lead to pooping issues, stomach issues, weight gain and skin issues. These obviously aren't great for self esteem adding to the depression. The period thing stands out to me to be the odd one on that list. Perhaps there is a link with poor diet too or perhaps there is some other issue with her reproductive system going on that equally could be leading to a lot of the symptoms she is describing. I hope her doctor was able to offer some useful steps to working out what is going on. Did she offer any alternative adhd meds that sd could try? There are lots of options. 
It can feel overwhelming as a parent when we can't really do a huge amount for them as older teens as they need to choose to look after their health themselves and they are often not yet mature enough to take that task on properly. 
Hopefully she'll get there herself in a few years.