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How to React?

Hesitant's picture

Submitted by Hesitant on Fri, 04/13/2007 - 8:34pm

My boyfriend just found out that his request for 50/50 custody was denied (no reason given by the court, just a recommendation that visatation continue as is - as in every other weekend, and one day during the week).

He is heart-broken and I feel badly for him and am trying to be supportive.

When he talks about the whole ordeal, he keeps referring to how he knows 'he broke their hearts' (meaning he broke his daughters hearts when he left their mother & started divorce proceedings) and for as long as he lives he will regret that. He then adds he does not regret his decision to leave the soon-to-be ex, and is happy now and knows he made the right decision.

I find it odd to refer to his children's sadness as 'breaking their hearts'. It's apparent to me his children will be sad, and rightfully so, but not forever. Breaking their hearts? Over dramatic perhaps?

Comments

laughterandtears's picture

Submitted by laughterandtears on Fri, 04/13/2007 - 9:11pm

Screw the courts, file again and again and as many times as it takes to get the results you want. It is a long process very emotionally draining on both of you, but remember that the squeakiest wheel get the grease. My husband and I have been going through this for two years and we finally got a judge who is more than willing to give my husband FULL custody. Good luck, honey. I wish you the best. As for the overdramatic, probably. He is trying to place the guilt on his self. Don't let him do it. Kids are very forgiving and resilent. Love all my kids.

Cruella's picture

Submitted by Cruella (not verified) on Fri, 04/13/2007 - 9:32pm

Is BM a good mother willing to work with him? I ask because my children's father left me right after the birth of our son because he just plain didn't want the responsibilites. I know I am a good Mom and raised my children alone but it would have been salt in mine and my childrens wounds if he would have tried to take the kids away and he was too damn too irresponsible to have joint custody. However I always left the door opened to him to come see and take the kids anytime he wanted. He just didn't want to. My children are grown now and he has many regrets as you can imagine because now he wants a relationship with them but they only do so much for him because they remember Dad wasn't around. Hopefully once some time has past he and his soon to be ex will at least see past all the hurt and come to some sort of agreement. In the mean time tell him to be there for his kids.