I guess I look at things a bit differently than alot of people on here. In my thinking, step families are still families and should be treated as such.

I spent 20 years married to a man with 2 boys. I had a son and a daughter. We raised them in a household that didn't make a difference if I was a step mom or he was a step dad. We were a family and in such it was treated that way.

Everyone pulled their weight. Step kids had chores on the weekend visits just as if they lived there. It was their home even if only on the weekends.

If they got in trouble it was no problem for me to correct them or take care of the situation. Same for my kids. He corrected them as if they were his own. If spanking were needed then it didn't matter who did it. Yes they were spanked but they learned so it didn't happen often.

There were never any insinuation that the other parent couldn't do something because it wasn't their kid. All were treated equal.

I took his kids everywhere just as I did my own. It was part of parenting. Yes there were long days at football and baseball practice and tons of Boy Scout ventures that I wish I wasn't a part of but again that was all part of being a parent. Didn't matter to which kid.

I picked his kids up and dropped them off pretty regularly because if he was at work then he couldn't. In my eyes it was my job as a parent. I took on that responsibility when I married him.

The way I look at it is that if someone marries someone with children then they marry that responsibility as well. You know going into a relationship that the other person has kids. Own up to it and accept it or don't do it. You must allow the other person to parent your kids or it will destroy your relationship. You can't just step back from the situation and ignore.

My Mom made the comment to me when I first married that she better not hear of my husband laying a hand on her grand kids. First and foremost, they were not her kids so what she thought didn't matter. Second, did she think I would stand around and allow someone to beat my kids? Third, if I was going to marry this man and allow him to work and provide for me and my kids then of course he was going to be allowed to help raise them. Same went for me.

Both my ex and his ex were in the children's lives daily and for the most part we all had a happy life.

We never had many issues with the children. When they became teenagers is when things got a bit different but that happens in all household with kids. Teenagers are difficult. It is what it is. That does not mean that they should be allowed to get away with anything.

I read so much on here about problems with step kids. A good majority are with teenage step kids. In most cases the problem isn't because it is a step kid it is because it is a teenager. They are lazy, disrespectful, nasty, etc. That is a teen age thing no matter who the parent is. If you have kids you are gonna deal with that sooner or later. I wonder sometimes what the other bio parent in some of these cases may be thinking about their step kids. We don't get to hear from them and I'm willing to be they feel the same in most instances. Kids grow past this in most cases but they need the help of parents. Don't make a big deal out of who their parent really is just be there and do what a parent should. If they don't grow out of it then wipe your hands, pat yourself on the back cause you did what you could and just let go.

People as parents need to put their foot down and parent the child and not let the child be the parent. In so many instances all I see is people letting children be the boss. That is not the way it should be. Kids know this and push limits. They do because they want the parent to be the parent. I know that sounds weird but its how I feel. I see to many parents now days just allowing children to do/say/act however they want. Fire that butt up a couple times and see how quick it stops. I am not telling anyone to beat their child so don't think that but I also know that standing in a corner doesn't help.

I had a step parent and he treated me and my brother well however my step siblings didn't do anything when they visited which wasn't often and from a kids point of view, that wasn't fair. I also had to stand back when their grandmother would make a brief visit. She would bring candy and gum but it was only enough for them. She gave it to them in front of us. That was wrong on so many levels. It also hurt. I felt I wasn't important. My Mom on the other hand was also wrong cause she always showed a difference in us her bio kids and the step kids. It was wrong of her to do that and even as a kid I saw that. She does that still with my step children and also with my step grandson. Pisses me off to no end. They are family. They may be step family and were made with different people but they are now my family so I want them to be treated that way.

By no means is my family perfect. We have our issues but the way children are raised by most now a days just gripes my butt. Kids get away with to much. Are given to much. Not made to work/earn things. Allowed to spend to much time on the phone/video games/tv. Parents allow this then wonder what went wrong.

And I have to ask.... Do so many kids really need therapy? I'm sure some do but mostly I don't think so. My opinion is that it is mostly just more coddling so as to not hurt their little feelings cause its not like life is happening and they have to grow up and accept it or something. Give them some hard work to do to earn their way and they won't have time to think about "poor pitiful me". We are raising a bunch of pansy kids for the most part and its wrong. We need to raise strong self dependent adults.

I know this is a long vent and for that I am sorry. I'm taking my pain meds today and they have mellowed me out to the point I just wanted this off my mind.

I'm no longer married to that husband but we raised 4 kids together that became hard working adults and parents to which I am grateful but I still think it is because of how we raised them. And I do have some issues with his kids which have cause serious issues later in our marriage but that is for another story. Mine aren't perfect either but my point is they were raised as family not stepfamily.

Well by now I guess I have ticked some people off pretty well and that was not my intention. Guess this is just my rant for the day. No meds for me tomorrow!