You are here

Questions from BS..

JanRebecca's picture

Submitted by JanRebecca on Fri, 06/22/2018 - 8:23am

This morning BS4 and I are cuddling in bed for a bit before getting up - he woke up way too early and should have gone back to sleep but he was wide awake and in a question asking mood. He told me he loves me so much and that he loves everyone in the world even 'SS8'.  Then he asked me if I love SS8 too? I lied through my teeth and said 'oh yes, I love SS too because he's your brother.  He then asked me if SS has a daddy at his other place? I said yes he has  (name) who he calls Daddy.  BS says 'why does he have two Daddys? I told him that before Daddy knew Mommy he had another wife - and they had a baby who was SS and then Daddy met Mommy and we had BS. Thankfully he accepted that answer and it went no further ha! 

As much as I can't stand SS8's disrespect etc I do want SS and BS to have a good relationship since they are brothers but as BS gets older he is going to notice my disengagment from SS - right? How will I explain that?  I want them to be brothers/friends but I hate the influence SS is. Sad

 

BS asks or comments almost every time after SS leaves about his behaviour and how BS gets punished or consequences for things and SS does not. I just tell him that at SS's house they don't have to same rules so he isn't taught the things that BS is. BS notices that SS tries to get him in trouble - how do you explain that to a four year old?  I feel lost sometimes for answers. 

 

Comments

Areyou's picture

Submitted by Areyou on Fri, 06/22/2018 - 1:54pm

Yes, we have to show our kids that we still have to be kind to people even after they haven't been very nice to us.

marblefawn's picture

Submitted by marblefawn on Sat, 06/23/2018 - 6:24pm

My sister used to get out of bed, run over to my bed and beat the hell out of me. Then she'd run back to her bed. When I, in turn, got up to go beat the hell out of her, she'd yell, "MOM! Marblefawn's out of bed!!!!!!!" Then I'd get in trouble.

Some of this "getting him in trouble" stuff would happen even if they were full siblings with both parents at home -- it's just sibling stuff. And it's not all bad -- people with siblings learn the drill of the world sooner and that helps us negotiate it easier...or at least get a handle on reality sooner.

Life's not fair, don't jump off a bridge becuase your brother jumped off a bridge, don't tattle, learn to share, etc. -- these are good things to learn. Everyone hates that one kid who comes to school without knowing these simple lessons about how the world works. They're always so annoying!