Mediation Questions
Never been to mediation before and I have some questions (I know answers may vary from state to state or even county to county) but I have NO idea what to expect. I will certainly be discussing this w/ our $300/hr attorney but any answers I can get from you STalkers may save me some lawyer face time. Here are some questions:
Who will pay for the mediation? She was in contempt of court (essentially kidnapped oldest SS13. She's only allowed supervised visitation but she took him and wouldn't return him til the Sheriff's office went to get him). So we got an Emergency Order that prevented her from having any contact. We went back to court Friday and couldn't come to an agreement - we want her to continue w/ supervised visitations b/c she's addicted to drugs and mentally ill. She won't agree. Our state requires mediation. Who will pay and how much will it cost?
I won't be able to be present will I? Which blows b/c I'm the only person in this equation with a job so I'll be paying for mediation that I'm guessing I won't be allowed to attend.
Would it be allowed to give to the mediator a written presentation before the mediation? We've got 8 years of drug use and felonies and criminal boyfriends and missed visitations etc. This is very pertinent info that would take way too long to present thoroughly in a mediation setting. We have 63 pages of notes on all these issues plus e-mails and criminal records and school records for the SSs.
Will the mediator testify in the inevitable trial?
Our lawyer says the mediators in our county are very into the idea that each parent should have a 50-50 say in their children's lives and that is a noble idea. But this woman is MESSED up. I'm concerned about the possibility of the mediator getting "Poor BM" syndrome b/c she looks like such a beaten-down victim. Any recommendations?
FYI: Thanks to all who have been a help in the past. Our lawyer thinks I'm some kind of Einstein b/c of all the knowledge you STalkers have imparted to me in the very short time I've been a member.
- jenstep's blog
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Comments
We just did this last week.
We just did this last week. You are not supposed to be there. Lawyer told me to stay home. But, BM's new husband was there but not allowed in the room. He stayed in the lobby.
Costs - Both parties pay. $150 each. We are in GA.
Give everything you have to the lawyer. She needs to be prepared before that day. We gave every email, Facebook printout and lawyer was able to call her out on everything she had done wrong.
We did win and BM got no child support. We gave up SD14 living here. Hasn't for 9 months anyway and BM was admonished for so much. It was awesome.
Good luck.
Really! Wow! I too am
Really! Wow! I too am learning much on this website. LOL's. We didn't try mediation because she was threatening the safety of my children, and we really didn't have any place for my husband children to room, so, we gave up trying to visit with them, and BM and children have been extremely unhappy after we disappeared off the charts. My husband was able to see it for what it was and move on with little to no problem, but I had a hard time because children were involved and being left behind. Sad!
just from reading a few lines
just from reading a few lines of your post here my experince with mediation where im from
1. both parties pay
2. they WONT let you talk about the past (what got you there to begin with) i know dumb.
3. once the yelling start between the parties your both ordered to stop and calm down. oh and one at a time to talk so take notes so you can go back to whatevr was said. the notes you take you will be asked/told to throw it away at the end of the session.
4. they wont talk about n e thing legal... (bill, child support, custady and etc) WTF.... i know makes no sense.... and last
5. nothing is used in court.
if you ask me i think mediation is a waste of time and money. what is the use if its not used in court and your not allowed to discuss almost n e thing.
thats why my DH doesnt even bother...
mediation i think works for ex couples who werent married and dont have bills together and just need to work out visitqtion schedules or if they are more civil. BUT if the couple was married leave it to the courts...
GOOD LUCK.... i hope mediation where your at isnt like mine and it helps you.
HOLD THE PHONE! She wants
HOLD THE PHONE! She wants unsupervised visitation and we are unwilling to allow that because of her history of drug addiction and felony convictions. Are you telling me that this information would not be allowed? What the...?
Don't be intimidated into
Don't be intimidated into signing anything because the lawyer says "this is the best deal you're going to get."