The in laws and I don't agree.
Hello beautiful people. Am I wrong (several topics will be talked about here )
So as you all know we live directly behind dh parents, so the land is sloped, parents closet to the road, us then BIL. In laws built their house with no drain around it so when rain falls (water flows down) and ends up in their house. Mil always complains I simply told her that they need to build a drain so the water has somewhere to go other than the house she says no its our guttering and we need to build a drain in front (she basically wants my husband to solve issues her husband should deal with) so dh let's her know if you blaming us then blame my bro first since his house is at the top (lmao) it's raining now and she mentioned it again and while I'm explaning thay water flows down but YOUR HOUSE IS BLOCKING IT she walks off.
I also know that when I have a child/children I won't be letting her watch them because I see how she treats SD10 and how she speaks to her, I don't curse but I heard her several times cursing sd10 1 time saying "TAKE YOUR F'ING MOTHER [email protected] DIRTY BAG OFF MY BED" and her other granddaughter whom she always says she misses as soon as the mother drops her off while the child is coming up the driveway she says "way you going, tell your mother come back for you, best you go back home" she tells her these things during the day and the girl cries. Now after seeing, hearing and knowing these things I refuse to let her around my future children unless I'm present.
My fil tried to attack me spiritually, thank God I'm a praying soul. I don't speak to him at all. Plus he is lazy and wicked. 3 days straight I told him good morning and he ignored me. From that time on I don't say any greetings towards him. Same with Mil apparently they have selective hearing.
So everytime I'm not in work I'm just by myself at home.
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Comments
I can't even imagine the hell
I can't even imagine the hell of living so close to an emotionally abusive MIL. Why?
Why don't you and H get a
Why don't you and H get a house away from being so close to all these In-Laws? Nothing worse than living so close to toxic people. Do yourself a favor and I promise you'll thank me later..............move......
YOu need to move
This is not workable. If you are living for free, yep, she has the right to tell DH to help out
Not living for free. It's dh
Not living for free. It's dh own house behind his parents, we pay our bills plus he even gives her money for herself. Problem is they see him as an A.T.M machine. But her other children don't give her a dime and they work for more than dh, one lives with them and she even cooks and washes for all her children free but if my DH wants something to eat or washed he HAS to pay her. That's what I don't like. And when I talk about it because it's his relatives he wants to 'keep the peace' but I can't see anyone taking advantage of him and not stand up for him
They don't like me because with me around they can't walk all over him.
Financially it's not good for us to move right now. But yes that is the plan. Need to get away. I feel like I'm losing my mind because they love drama and when I express myself I look like the bad guy cause I'm the 'outsider'
Save your money and place it
Save your money and place it on your top to do list to move out of there. If you plan to have kids with him you don't want that toxicity around them constantly. You also need your space and living so close leaves room for a whole lot of drama.
That's the plan. But it's
That's the plan. But it's like they don't want that to be an option. They always want him to spend his money. He helped them out recently and his father told him "thats your purpose" but the son that makes over $10,000 a month yall dont see until he has no money then he pops up and eats out all your groceries, they gladly wash, cook etc for him even though he has a bm. It's like dh parents don't want to see him win I honestly feel like they don't like him they just like what he can do for them. And because I'm not blinded by 'its family' I can see them clearly and they don't like that. So dh thinks I'm the one that's causing drama by not being around them. But I just can't be around them, mil complains about everyone and then when they are around she is quiet like a church mouse. Case in point fil got mil a kitten she didn't want it because it was peeing and doing its business inside the house I saw her with my own eyes throw it out the window, now I'm a dog person but I won't throw a kitten out or abuse it, so she keeps saying I can't stand this cat he needs to get rid of it, for days she complains about it then when he finally gives it away she says "you know I missing the kitten, he wasn't a bad cat, he would of been big and nice now" this woman just lIves to complain.
Side note : I play lotto to see if we could win a jackpot and leave these people. (And I'm not into gambling)
who cares what they want?
Move out ASAP
I am going to take a chance
I am going to take a chance with this.....My opinion is this is a cultural thing. AND you and your husband do not come from same background? Is that true? Maybe I am wrong.
In some cultures the son takes care of the parents $$$$$ OR it is their belief to assume so. Hence,,,why the inlaws reference to money AND that dh gives them money. Mothers are very dominant in the family --your MIL.
I will also assume your MIL wont lift a finger OR pay 1cent to solve anything, it is YOUR problem about water, not her's. She will expect your husband to take care of it.
Does your husband see the pain his parents are causing his marriage? Some cultures are so indoctrinate into what THEY do and how they act---it may be that your husband doesnt think anything is wrong. If that is true, You will have to make some decisions. Since your childless, do you want to live like this with Mother in law and Father inlaws intrusion and unhappiness with you?
*you referenced your faith...remember this..a man leaves his 'mother' and cleaves to his wife'...not a man leaves his mom and still clings to his mom, pays bills for his parents and does what his mommy makes him do".
**Also, remember we cant pray away stuff...we have to make decisions too**
There are wonderful people on here who will try to help you sort this out. Your not alone...ok?
GoodLuck
I was wondering about differing cultures as well
I was wondering about differing cultures as well. Is your DH the oldest son? Is that why they expect him to take care of them?
You said when you are not at work that you are home alone. Maybe you should try finding some friends or hobbies or interests that will take you out of the home. Don't let your life revolve around your DH and his family - make a life of your own.
Wait your fil spiritually attacked you?
Do you mean like voodoo/black magic??
Husband is oldest child, I'm
Husband is oldest child, I'm african and Spanish mixed and dh is Indian and african. Mil doesn't work but when she gets money she will gladly spend or loan other kids but not help dh (we don't ask for anything though ) yes voodoo, I pray alot in 1 room and while asleep I saw a figure shaped like fil trying to enter my bedroom (room I pray in) it couldn't pass, I tried to sleep but it came again and I grabbed my Bible and prayed and it went. Since then he has been avoiding me. DH takes his family side alot he doesn't ask my opinion on anything he just wants me to keep the peace, but I still voice my opinion. Sometimes he would call them out on things but revert to old thinking and basically catering to them then complain to me. When I get tired I would spend weekends by my dad where I'm surrounded by loving people.