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A positive word about SD63

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Sat, 06/28/2025 - 9:19pm

I usually rant and rave about SD63 and I probably will again but today, Im thankful for her.

My mom102 passed away Monday and was buried today. While I notified everyone else, I hesitated to contact SD because 1) I avoid her and 2) I didn't feel like dealing with any drama.  But when I contacted her, she responded kindly and said she wanted to come to the visitation.  I thougjt, "As  if" because she's usually a no-show or is late.  But, once DH87 knew I was in contact with her, he began to elaborate plans.

So, she ended up attending the visitation, on time, actually early.  I assigned her to dad-sit with him.  The dementia is coming on with the forgetfulness and irritability.  Seated between her and my SIL, his favorite in-law, he was fine. 

Then she drove us to the cemetery and the luncheon later.   She sat next to him, got him food and drink and kept him in line.  She drove us home afterward.

So, today, I'm thankful for SD63.  She was a big help.

 

 

 

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Comments

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Sat, 06/28/2025 - 10:50pm

My deepest sympathy for your loss, JRI. It's nice that SD63 was helpful to you. {{{HUGS}}}

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Sat, 06/28/2025 - 11:28pm

My mom passed relatively painlessly and fast.  That's the best we can hope for.  She had good health right up to the end and was still walking to the dining room with her walker.  Most of the grandkids and great-grandkids were there today and I told them she was stronger mentally and emotionally than all of us put together.  As their lives move on, I hope they can remember they have her strong genes.  Maybe it will give them strength during tough times.

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Sun, 06/29/2025 - 12:08am

My condolences on the passing of your mom, and I'm very glad that SD63 stepped up to the plate and behaved well.  Long may it last!  

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Sun, 06/29/2025 - 1:16am

Please accept my deepest sympathy on the loss of your mum. No matter their age, you are never prepared for their passing. 

(((((HUGS)))))

I am glad that your SD was there for you when you most needed her.

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Sun, 06/29/2025 - 7:54am

Yes, it was a surprise and I dreaded her being there.  The worst case, and not an unusual expectation, would have been her calling many times beforehand to glean details, discuss her outfit and gossip about others.  Then, she would have arrived later than expected with lamentations about car trouble and aches and pains.  None of that happened.

Her daughter, M, also came.  M had been in contact with my grand-daughter, A, about coming.  This is the one that DH87 is estranged from due to her refusal to interact with SD.  I had told A that SD was coming and if M wanted to come, good, except I wasn't up for any drama.  Well, M drove over 50 miles and I saw her talking with SD so that was fine.  Neither SD nor DH discussed it with me later and frankly, whatever.

In any case, it's over and SD was a big help.

Little Type Amy's picture

Submitted by Little Type Amy on Sun, 06/29/2025 - 9:32am

I am very sorry for your loss and sending hugs. For your sake, I am also very glad to know that you were ( by some miracle) spared any SD inflcited drama to contend with , which is the last thing you would need on your plate even in better times. 

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Sun, 06/29/2025 - 10:06am

Yes, it was a miracle. 

CajunMom's picture

Submitted by CajunMom on Sun, 06/29/2025 - 10:42am

Deepest sympathy to you in loosing your mom. I'm so glad SD acted so well. 

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Submitted by Rumplestiltskin on Sun, 06/29/2025 - 10:55am

I'm so sorry about your mother. And i'm glad SD was a help. You acknowledging that shows what a kind heart you have. I will use your kindness as inspiration for the upcoming SD visits in my life. Noticing and calling out the positive, wherever you can find it! 

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Sun, 06/29/2025 - 11:14am

Sometimes we have to look pretty hard to find the positives.  Lol.

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Sun, 06/29/2025 - 12:44pm

About 10 days ago, I began to have leg pain, sciatica.  It hurts.  Then, a few nights later, the nursing home called to say they were taking Mom to the hospital.  I met them there and 12 hours later, Mom died.  In the meantime, DH87 was growing testy because that's what happens when my attention is diverted.  Then his phone died, so he lost what little contact he has with others.  We were going from funeral home to cemetery to doctor to phone company.. My brothers were coming into town and asking questions and wanting to meet.  We were counting down to the funeral when a storm knocked down one of our trees into the neighbor's yard.  Yesterday, in the funeral procession, somebody smacked into one of the cars and T-boned it, thankfully, nobody was hurt.

When it rains, it pours 

Felicity0224's picture

Submitted by Felicity0224 on Sun, 06/29/2025 - 9:32pm

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother. It sounds like she lived a very good life; I'm sure she will be missed. Very glad SD didn't cause any trouble for you and was able to actually be helpful. Fingers crossed she continues that trend. 

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Mon, 06/30/2025 - 7:10am

OH my.. I'm so sorry for your loss.  but I'm glad your SD actually stepped up and was helpful during this difficult time for you.. small blessing there.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Submitted by Exjuliemccoy on Mon, 06/30/2025 - 3:10pm

I'm very sorry to hear of your mother's passing, JRI. And so glad that, for once, SD behaved with compassion and propriety.

Please take good care of yourself, and may family & friends be a support.

Trudie's picture

Submitted by Trudie on Mon, 06/30/2025 - 4:33pm

My heartfelt condolences, JRI, on the loss of your mother. It sounds like she was quite a lady. Blessings to you as you navigate the days ahead.

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Mon, 06/30/2025 - 6:57pm

Thanks, you all, for your kind thoughts.  I'm so exhausted from everything that's happened, my sciatica, Mr. Dementia here and all the people.  My daughter keeps saying next week will be better with a new normal, just need to get to that point.

But, I appreciate all the kind messages and letting me rant online.  What is Steptalk for, anyway?  Lol.

 

Elea's picture

Submitted by Elea on Wed, 07/02/2025 - 12:07am

How amazing that your Mom lived to 102! I am sorry for your loss. It is great that your SD was a supportive person like a regular person should be. Hopefully you can get some rest now. What a crazy series of events. I feel the universe/greater power or whatever you want to call it has a way of rising to match the moment in a way that feels surreal, in the case the moment was sad so things like thunderstorms and grumps and car problems match the flavor of the day. Take some time for yourself to recover. 

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Fri, 07/04/2025 - 12:17am

What an incredible life she experienced.

You and her family are so blessed to have her character and had her in your lives for so very long.

As for SD, be wary.  One instance of being human does not an actual person of quality make.