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Why is it i get involved?! i can't STAY disengaged!

jstorie's picture

SD15. has failed all her classes all year long. we are on a new 9 weeks and i said I was going to disengage. But all this crap gets in the way of the family stuff. becuase we can't leave her alone by herself becuase she still and threatens to kill herself and blah blah blah. bullshit. So a week into it sd has 4 zero's I about came unglued we came to an agreement this morning that she would have the two zeros' turned in. That would bring all her grades up to passing! Great right. Maybe if we start off the 9 weeks right and her spring break next week we could hope to turn all this drama right down the drain. I WAS WRONG

I checked grades in her american history class she is making a ZERO% YES A BIG FAT 0% her highest grade is a 42% and the zero's are trippled. mainly becuase the teachers upgraded their grades. NEEDLESS TO SAY I AM PISSED!

She is supposed to be responsible enough to even babysit at this point, go out with friends have fun. so on and so forth. and it is bullshit!

DH response... if she doesn't care why should we! are you fucking kidding me? she is a 8th grader! you have to get a grip now becuase H.S. is even tougher. im so upset i could just scream.

Yes i could be really overeacting becuase i was already pissed off at my work. It has been a hell of a day in the Emergency room today.

My thoughts if she doesn't want to do the work. why make her.

then why the hell if she doesn't want to live with us is she still there. Oh I freakin no becuase nobody else wants the lazy,filthy but.

Oh guys i am really freakin angry... All i ever here out of this kids mouth is i don't get treated like the other kids! Well no you freakin don't. if they shit there pants at age 3 they no to put it in the dirty clothes and ask for a bath. my 5 year old would just do it! and my five year old does his school work. and they listen to me. and if i spank them or pop their mouth they know they deserve it and that it is not abuse. They clean their room. My five year old cleans off the freakin table he does his chore. oh and guess what he doesn't back talk either. Im so fucking sick of this mess. and her not getting disciplined becuase she goes to dhs everytime. FINE GO. GO TO DHS GET TAKEN IM SO FUCKING DONE!

Comments

Sparklelady's picture

Please stop being involved. Don't look at her marks, don't get involved with any of it. I have been there, I know exactly what you're feeling and how frustrating it is. Your birth children will grow up to be much more productive members of society, and they will probably do very well in school. But this child, the child who is not your child, who has biological parents who don't care, and who will not be the "bad guys".... There is nothing that you can do about this. NOTHING.

I know how difficult it is for you to watch a child fail because of sheer laziness on her part and on the part of her biological parents. It is possibly the most difficult part of being a stepparent. But there is nothing that you can do, it is her choice and their choice. And, it's a pretty sure bet that you were the only one who's getting upset about any of this. And that's just crazy, there's no reason for you to be upset by her failure. It will not be a reflection of you as a parent. And anyone who does think it's about you? Screw them. They have never walked in your shoes. Hugs from someone who's been there.

hereiam's picture

It's hard to completely disengage with her living with you, because it impacts you.

What's going to happen when she is of age, a high school drop out, and has no job? Is your DH going to put her out or continue to financially support her?

DH response... if she doesn't care why should we

HE should care because she is his daughter and she is still young enough that it is his job to put forth the effort to raise a productive human being. Even if he feels it's a lost cause, how can live with himself for not at least trying?

jstorie's picture

she was held back once. she just turned 15. yeah looking to fail again. if that law no child left behind doesn't f* it up. you guys are right. I know I need to but thats my deal BUT! i care to much.