Hi ladies-
I just wanted to wish you a happy holiday and the best of luck over the next week!

I am the SM with the SD15 and SS16/BM died on Mother's day/skid moved from another state with us over the summer.

Things are OK. Some days better than OK, some days not. We are all still figuring it out. We took the kids away for t-giving to some other relatives in the SW (we are in the NE) and kept them super busy doing fun stuff around the desert.

For xmas we are going to MIL on xmas eve and staying home for our own first xmas together. We asked the kids if they wanted to go to BMs grave xmas eve while we were near it and neither seemed to anxious. After talking to out family therapist he suggested we nix the idea right on xmas eve. He did suggest my DH do something to acknowledge BM on xmas at our house so the kids see straight from him that its OK to talk and remember her in our home. Something like we light a candle and say a little prayer for her and maybe he tells them a story of xmas from when they were little and still married to BM.

I swear these past few months I have found more compassion than I ever thought I was capable of and am OK with him doing this for the kids.

I have also found that I have motherly instinct and am a pretty good SM. I find myself giving hugs and kisses every morning before they go off to school and recently telling them that I love them. I think they of course miss their mom but I think they also like the little bit of June Cleaver I have brought to their life.

For all of you struggling daily with your situations, I send you hugs. It's so damn hard. Be strong and always take care of "you".

xo fellow SMs