I guaranty you aren't "out of sight out of mind" when it comes to sending you a damn bill are you?

I think you may need to start trying more than just emails... phone calls.. and start a record of your contact attempts..you may need it for your malpractice suit against them.

This is probably the best explanation of the situation. The only leverage OP and her DH have is that her DH is active duty military with full custody of his neurodiverse son. The judge and attorneys would be in a pickle if that information got blasted because then they have to decide if they stick up for the "poor single mom" or a full-time dad who is active duty military. Small towns love their soldiers and sailors. At the very least, speaking up *might* get a more fair judgement, otherwise the judge would have to justify "sticking it to the troops".

Our venue court for the blended family battles was in my DW's home town. We never lived nearer than 1000 miles from SpermLand.

 DW moved with SS when she left for university. She was granted full physical and legal custody before SS-30 turned 1yo.  She initiated that to make sure there were no shenanigans with the Spermidiot.  That was when the CS order was implemented ($110/mo)

The SpermGrandHag was the house cleaner for the Judge's vacation/rental properties.  We brought that up at the beginning or the hearing, the Judge ignored it.  The Judge also tried to postpone the hearing for a 4th time so he could preside over a Murder trial.  We refused and our attorney did grow the stones to push back on the Judge that my DW had traveled three previous times from our to state for a scheduled court date only to have the SpermClan cancel/postpone in an effort to cost her more money.  That pissed the Judge off from the get go. He was all cranky for the entire day.

• DH attorney - knows that if he is too agressive no one from the BM's community will ever hire him again because he sided with the evil heathens from the DMV zone. (DC, Maryland, Virgina)

All of your bullets are exactly what we experienced as the evil out of towner (rich people). Particularly the one regarding your DH's attorney.   Our attorney was scared shitless of alienating herself from her client market and pissiing off the Judge potentially impacting her ability to engage with the Judges in the County.

At that time my salary was $28K/yr and DW was full time college student. We had been married for less than a week.  The Judge made it clear that he did not appreciate our dominating financial position over the SpermClan.  What dominating financial position?  IMHO the SpermGrandHag has likely picked the Judge's brain on getting custody of SS away from my DW and having the Spermidiot awarded custody.  When they tried to intimidate my DW into giving up custody of SS, she took out a pile of supplemental student loans and went on the counter attack.  Once I entered the picture, there was no mor efinancial advantage that the SpermGrandHag and the rest of the SpermClan could leverage.    

All of this was part of the full page add I submnitted to the local paper.  That freaked the Judge and our attorney completely out.  There was a pic of the Judge, the Spermidiot, his arrest record, a very young looking pic of my teen mom wife, and one of my then toddler SS with a bulletized desctiption of the Judge's ruling with a header that highlighted how the Judge forced a toddler into the presence of a repeat statutory rapist/child mollestor.  Though I did not use the words Statutory Rapis/Child Mollestor. 

Fortuneately for us the Spermidiot was so notorieous for targeting young teen lovers (he was 24 and my DW was 16 when SS-30 was born).   She was not his first statutory rape victim, nor was she his last. Even the idiot Judge could not ignore that crap and ultimately "did what (he) always does" and upheld full physical and legal custody for my DW, awarded visitation to the Spermidiot (7wks/yr) and raised CS from $110/mo to $133/mo.

Though we kicked ass in that hearing, and the Spermidiot was instructed to stand then was ridiculed in front of everyone present by the Judge, the idiot in the black Harry Potter robes proceeded to praise the SpermClan and for a minute or two harped on how fortunate any child would be to have the love and support of that fine family.  After 8hrs of hearing where the Spermidiot's penchant for statutory rape of underage girls was repeatedly highlighted including having several of his victims testify about how he was riding them like bicycles when they were in their early to mid teens.

It was the Judge's agrandizement of how blessed a kid would be to belong to the SpermClan that motivated my call to the paper to place the full page add.

Succeeding hearings were all telephone hearings that were decidedly free of the community public relations influences that were clear and present during the first hearing.  That and the first Judge would not touch a hearing that included us with a ten foot pole after the first round.  We also benefited in future hearings by having a woman Judge.  The SpermClan's supportive position on having the Spermidiot's back in court went over like a fart in church with the female Judge. Where the first Judge clearly was biased, the second Judbge was about the facts which definately bared the SpermClan's asses.  That and the former teen mom was not a graduate degreed licenses professional who was in a then 12+ year marriage while the Spermidiot had 3 more out of wedlock spawn by two more baby mamas. The last baby mama was also under age.

With 28+ years of hind sight, going full rip out his throat with the Judge was not the best choice I could have made.  But... it did get the point across, further destroyed the Spermidiot and SpermClan in their community, and made a notable point with the Judge and our attorney that they had a duty to perform that trumped the opinion of their community or their concerns abouttheir business, etc.

We fired our attorney  a few years after the first hearing and hired a killer shark conselor locally who advised us going forward and wrote very powerful letters to the SpermClan telling them to follow the CO, do what they were told, or they would suffer in court.  They never entirely went away and did force our hand a few times resulting in court action (the telephone hearings) but after they shot their wad in the first hearing they pretty much just whined, cried, and played the poor victimized NCP position to the hilt. We made sure that they were not allowed to play that part without the facts permiating SpemLand. My DW's HS BFF's dad was first the Chief of Police of their small town then the County Sheriff.  His daughter was one of the first statutory rape victiims of the Spermidiot.  So, their crap was never allowed to go uncountered.

To this day I am baffled as to why the Sheriff nor my ILs did not put the Spermidiot's ass in prison for statutory rape/child mollestation.