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No Goodbye

Kaikai's picture

Submitted by Kaikai on Tue, 02/22/2011 - 12:37pm

This was our weekend with my SD so of course it was a bit miserable for my and my BD. We are just not treated very well and I"m sooooooo tired of it. I have recently stopped any and all parenting and am leaving it completely up to my husband. I am really detaching. It feels strange, but not sure what else to do at this point.
My SD10 is just not very nice to me of my BD4 which is also her 1/2 sister. She is pretty much nice to EVERYONE but us.
I had to take her to school this morning and on the way I asked her a few simple questions about her volleyball game and just got responses full of attitude.
She was getting out of the car at school and I said, "bye, have a nice day", and no response from her.
I'm so tired of being treated like crap.
I got tickets for Disney on ice for this coming weekend, and I'm really considering not taking her and letting my little one bring a friend instead. I just have zero incentive to do anything nice for her.

Comments

dakotamom's picture

Submitted by dakotamom on Tue, 02/22/2011 - 12:45pm

i would let your daughter bring a friend - there is no reason to put yourself out when it isnt' going to be appreciated. i will do NOTHING when it concerns my skids unless i want to. when i don't pay for things relating to the skids - my Dh has a talk with them. it seems to get through to my DH more when i dont complain - but rather just disengage. it has taken what seems like forever - but slowly getting better. ss17 and i have a better relationship than ss15 - he is the main reason i disengage. anything i say to that kid is taken by DH as being hostile. so it's easier to just have nothign to do with him.

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Tue, 02/22/2011 - 1:20pm

She might feel jealous that BD gets an intact family and dad full-time while she does not. That is understandable, but it's not an excuse for her rude behavior.

I think DH needs to have a chat with her and set aside an hour for her every other weekend to chat with her, take her out for ice cream, or play a game with her. They can talk about how things are going for them in life, and SD can tell DH about school, friends, etc.

He also needs to talk with her about her rudeness and say she can always come and talk to him about how she's feeling, but the rudeness has to stop, and he needs to enforce consequences (i.e. no tv or movies for the rest of her stay) if it does not.

Maybe she'd benefit from having a diary. I write a lot and writing stuff out in a private place can really help.

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Tue, 02/22/2011 - 1:46pm

I don't think divorce should be used as a scapegoat for bad behavior either, and it saddens me when parents and others do that. My parents got divorced. People were empathetic, but I wasn't allowed to use it as an excuse for bad behavior. I turned out ok Smile

I think it's one thing to have empathy and let these kids vent, but it's damaging to let them get away with bad behavior because their parents aren't together.