Venting...
SS12 was supposed to go with BM and her family to an amusement park today. He was at our house last night and was told multiple times to go to sleep on time, he had to be up to go, etc.
At 5am he was still up...he woke me up with his "whispering" to his friends on the XBox. DH of course never heard a thing. I went to his room told him to turn the XBox off and made him lay down in our room so he couldn't get back on.
DH drove SS and SD to their mom's around 9am. DH at some point gets a text that SS is in a horrible mood, and DH agreed to GO PICK HIM UP AND BRING HIM BACK HERE. I don't know what time the text came, because he told me later, because he knew I'd be furious. And I was. And I am.
So I started asking questions...what consequence does SS have? Is he staying for the night, because I had planned for us to go out. Etc. So after SS is back here, the answers are "I fussed at him", and "He's staying because I don't want to drive all the way back over there, so he can just go out with us."
Hell NO. I am pissed off enough that the XBox wasn't taken away. Now we are going to reward him by taking him out to eat???
About to start texting around and seeing which of my friends are available to go out.
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Comments
Is your DH high????? The
Is your DH high????? The brat gets rewards and treats for staying up all night on XBox and ruining two different houses plans? HELL NO!!!!!
Wow, Dad of the Year... way to miss a huge character building learning experience. Lets make SS a spoiled and unemployable snowflake instead.
Exactly. All DH sees it is
Exactly.
All DH sees it is "he can't make anyone happy". But he's wrong--he made SS happy. He is the only person in two households who didn't have his day effed up.
They have 50/50. I did ask
They have 50/50. I did ask him what they would have done if they were still together and he didn't have an answer.
Because these kids have been taught no life skills, the 12 year old can't be home alone after dark. He is "scared". He isn't old enough. etc
Oh how I wish. If it happened
Oh how I wish. If it happened to disappear I'm sure the XBox fairy would bring another one.
Woah?! So your DH doesn't
Woah?! So your DH doesn't feel like bringing him back to BMs but felt fine enough to go get him? It sounds like he's forgotten which one of you he's married to...He never should have gone to pick him up. BM thinks he's having a crappy attitude then SHE should have handled it. The only thing she should have been asking your DH is: How late did you let him stay up last night?" or "Can you please make sure SS is well-slept and ready on occasions we have day plans?"
That is EXACTLY what I said!
That is EXACTLY what I said! BM should have handled this 100%. DH should never have agreed to pick up the kid.
BM did ask DH to make sure SS got enough rest last night...I have no idea if SS played possum until DH went to sleep or what. All I know is that he was up at 5 making enough noise at that point to wake me up, and when I asked him if he had been to sleep he said no.
That's my plan. Of course
That's my plan. Of course seeing how this whole thing has played out so far, I wouldn't be surprised to find out he took SS out while I was out.
Ugh your DH should've asked
Ugh your DH should've asked you if it was okay for SS to come back over. He shouldn't be making plans that interfere with your time, without your consent. Period. How would he like it if you started making plans that muck with his schedule & time without consulting him? I doubt he'd be cool with that.
I think I may have to mess up
I think I may have to mess up his plans a few times just to get through his abnormally thick skull.
So, DH will go get SS so BM'S
So, DH will go get SS so BM'S day isn't ruined but he doesn't mind ruining your date because he's too tired to drove SS back?
Sounds like he's forgetting whom he sleeps with.
Go enjoy your evening!
So, DH will go get SS so BM'S
So, DH will go get SS so BM'S day isn't ruined but he doesn't mind ruining your date because he's too tired to drove SS back?
Sounds like he's forgetting whom he sleeps with.
Go enjoy your evening!
Based on the fact that your
Based on the fact that your DH won't let SS(12!) stay home alone after dark I'm pretty sure the "fussing" he gave the kid didn't amount to a hill of beans. I'd be mad too.
Just my 2 cents, but if Xbox
Just my 2 cents, but if Xbox disrupts your sleep (which it did at 5am), it becomes your issue also. Not just Dad's. It affects you.
So you go get the d*mn Xbox before you head out. Lock it up. Take key with you. Kid can have it back when he learns to respect the Xbox is a privilege... he lost his until he follows rules and does as told.
Umm why didn't bm get him
Umm why didn't bm get him acting right since he was with her? If sd is acting up here I wouldn't even think of calling her mom to discipline her.
whenever the kid is there and
whenever the kid is there and it is not scheduled time and you were not consulted I would ensure that you do nothing whatsoever to help your husband or SS. Do not cook dinner, do not tidy up, no loving words, just ignore them. Also make sure you go out tonight wherever you go. Just make sure that it is clear to your husband that if he wants to babysit the boy for BM then it is his job to do all the parenting and you will not mess up your plans for him. Also next time SS wakes you at an ungodly hour, give your husband a kick and insist he gets up to deal with SS, you should not have to get out of bed to deal with his kid. Your husband will not learn until you make life uncomfortable for him. It seems BM is trying to teach your husband to make sure SS sleeps enough by having him take care of the grumpy child, it is your turn to make sure he fully understands this lesson that he needs to parent better and have better boundaries with BM.
I went out. Had a great time.
I went out. Had a great time. DH did make time for US afterwards. Doesn't fix the underlying problem, but I am in a much better mood now.