Ss parents broke up when ss was a year younger than (our) daughter 4.

  Wow my lil critter  tries to give us the run around. She's been pushing boundaries all day to me, and sulked as I won't let her crack on. Now daddy is trying to put her to bed she wants to say mummy I love u, cuddles x5. Nope, get to bed bye. Do as daddy says or else.

With the benefit of hindsight I can see why ss is as he is (spolit, manipulative, enmeshed brat) I'm not excusing their Disney lazy parenting. I can just see how divorce and guilt breeds monsters. He came to us at 3, daddy walked on egg shells, anything to make him happy. Mummy couldn't be bothered with him at all, and favoured her career so did and still does buy him an entire store every weekend. When she's not trying to push him back to daddy as he's overboard now. 

Each parent blames the other, overlooks and doesn't deal with bratty behaviour, or can't be bothered to even parent they just want their night off /date night, and you have a perfect storm creating a rubbish little human being. More than that, they don't teach the kid essential age appropriate skills, as they just hope the other parent will do it on their watch. It's totally nuts. 

Not gonna lie, as my daughter is now (smart cute and incredibly testing lol) she'd end up a waste of space and a mini wife  by 10 in those circumstances. But that won't be happening.

Also not gonna lie, the babysitter, as I now feel bad about rudely calling him, bm bf. He's given this lad some stability boundaries and discipline he never had during lockdown, the change is remarkable I think both dh and I are grateful to him we truly are