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NOT SUPPOSED TO VENT?

LikeMinded's picture

Submitted by LikeMinded on Mon, 03/14/2016 - 11:04am

There are two posters who just ocme here to attack people every day. .

They accuse people of "whining", "complaining", "trying to get sympathy".

HELLO... THIS IS A BOARD FOR VENTING AND THAT IS WHAT VENTING IS!

If they don't like reading posts that have step parents venting, then why come read them every day? What are they trying to achieve?

They say we should all just give up and leave. Sorry but life is not that easy. Some of us will NOT put our children through another divorce. Does that mean we're spineless, stupid, crazy?

No, it means we've chosen to put our kids AND SKIDS first. Some of us are proud of that decision. But we come here for support, because we've chosen a difficult path and society doesn't offer us much support.

Kicking people while they are down, just to feel superior, is childish and small. It does not make you more intelligent.

Doing it every day... well that's just pathetic!

Comments

Monchichi's picture

Submitted by Monchichi on Mon, 03/14/2016 - 11:20am

Venting is one thing. Some of the newer posters even I am struggling with Sad Don't let it get you down. It's a good place all in all. Just delete their comments or ignore them. Also dont create a post about it ((hugs)) It feeds the comments.

LikeMinded's picture

Submitted by LikeMinded on Mon, 03/14/2016 - 1:08pm

Tommar, I've been taking some advice--but not all of it. What I have chosen to do is working for me, and I'm happy to have found this board.

In general, the advice is not what I need the most, it's the support.

I like to give advice too, but I realize that I do not know enough about these posters' lives in order to give sound advice. Even counselors who have degrees, and are getting more information, are giving bad advice. I've read several posts now about posters who took advice from this board only to have it go wrong.

I try to give posters ideas that perhaps they haven't thought about before, and maybe add some tools to their tool box. We can't get our egos bruised whenever someone doesn't follow advice--we're in no position to give any kind of real advice when we don't know anything about the person.

Just because they choose not to follow the advice of anonymous posters on a forum does not make them stupid...

Indigo's picture

Submitted by Indigo on Mon, 03/14/2016 - 12:33pm

^Agree^ My trouble is that I keep forgetting who I don't wish to read and who I enjoy reading. Menopausal memory lapse. That's my latest excuse. I should probably make a list.

Or, maybe we could have a running spreadsheet of folks and their kids/steps ... For instance, I remember a poster who had the liquor poured on a sweater situation with her SD and I wonder whatever happened there.

Monchichi's picture

Submitted by Monchichi on Mon, 03/14/2016 - 12:43pm

Fruit, once upon a time we all were so wasteful. I have to admit I threw a really good shooter in a pseudo friends face once. Terrible waste of good alcohol I had paid for.

over step's picture

Submitted by over step on Mon, 03/14/2016 - 11:34am

I've learned that you have to distinguish between things that are brutal but we need to hear and things that are fueled by what others are or have experienced. Not all advice posted is going to work for you and you have to decide that since you are living it not us. Ignore the rest.

LikeMinded's picture

Submitted by LikeMinded on Mon, 03/14/2016 - 11:49am

Yes, you guys are right, and I just needed to get this off my chest.

Just to clarify: I'm fine with opposing views, I'm fine with "tough love", I understand all that, and I engage in it myself.

What annoys me is when a person comes here to vent and is immediately muzzled with accusations of "whining, seeking sympathy, and complaining."

Then, when the person comes back a week later to vent, they get accused of being "stupid" for not taking anyone's advice.

Some posters are getting aggressive when their advice is not taken. But why would anyone want to take advice from an anonymous wierdo who's online all day with nothing better to do than attack people looking for support? That's the LAST person I would take advice from.

Maxwell09's picture

Submitted by Maxwell09 on Mon, 03/14/2016 - 12:11pm

I've noticed one in particular who gets a little carried away when giving advice. The advice she gave was truth but she was very insulting and rude in her delivery making fun of parts in a mean way. I only keep my blogs up shortly but lately the only responses I've been getting have been little advice laced with insults and meanness. I'm starting to find it really pointless to post on here these day; basically if you aren't a fake poster with an outrageous story or your stepkid don't commit murder in their off time your posts will be ignored when it comes to advice.

The joys of online forums I guess

Monchichi's picture

Submitted by Monchichi on Mon, 03/14/2016 - 12:40pm

Chuck would off me if he could }:) I seldom get advice on my posts. I roll with it. I get it out as super says and then I feel I can handle the next wave of crazy.

Monchichi's picture

Submitted by Monchichi on Mon, 03/14/2016 - 1:11pm

That reminds me I'm almost finished Polly's room! I found a gorgeous butterfly mirror. Painted the accent wall, just need to get the light fitting and bedside lamp. Then it's BabyD's turn Smile

LikeMinded's picture

Submitted by LikeMinded on Mon, 03/14/2016 - 1:14pm

Yes, it does feel good to know there are others out there going through the same thing. I only know 1 other stepmom, and I could never open up to her because we're not that close.

robin333's picture

Submitted by robin333 on Mon, 03/14/2016 - 12:59pm

You don't get much advice because you are more mature than most of us. Seriously, you handle things so well, there's little to suggest.

Monchichi's picture

Submitted by Monchichi on Mon, 03/14/2016 - 1:09pm

robin, even the mature ones need help. Say hiding bodies or raising carnivorous pigs to dispose of the body or just a "hey, you're doing okay" from time to time.

robin333's picture

Submitted by robin333 on Mon, 03/14/2016 - 1:17pm

Fruit and I have a body disposal service Smile

Pig farms work well and so does dismemberment with scattered dump sites.