I just wanted to share a positive experience I have recently had with ss16.

A couple weeks ago I finally sat down with ss16 and said I wanted to clear the air. For the first time ever I talked with him very directly about the tension between us. I told him I have always felt he doesn't want me around, maybe not even in his dad's life and asked him if this is how he really feels.

I told him I understand that I must get on his nerves at times and I think that's perfectly normal. I told him that while he is not my son and I am his stepmom, I care about him and want to treat him the way I would want my own child treated. I told him that I try to imagine my daughter at his age and I try to treat him the way that I would have wanted her to be treated by a stepmom.

I told him that I care about his happiness a great deal and I feel responsible for his well being while he is with us - which is why I won't let him eat junk food and fast food at every single meal. I told him that I care very much about his relationship with his dad and that he has a good time with his dad when he visits.

ss16 didn't say much. He only said that he knows he gets irritated easily and I admitted that I can be overly sensitive so I can see where this would lead to some of the tension between us. I hugged him and no more has been said about this since then.

There has been no tension between me and ss16 since this conversation. I have been a lot more relaxed and I have enjoyed having him around. Also, I have been very direct when he says something that I think is out of line. For example, he made a statement about how much money we spent on something and I told him our financial choices are not his business.

ss16 goes home soon and I don't know how things will be when he comes back again at Christmas and next summer. For now I feel pretty good about how things have been going - for a change!