Im headed to a food pantry soon & DH is asking SS what restaurant he wants to go to?

I have lost my income completely & times have become rather difficult in an instant. Ive laid it out to DH that we need to plan our budgets together & that he will have to assume much more than ever before. After that conversation, he takes SS out for McD's after he picked up SS????? Today we are headed for a community event that was free & what does he do but ask SS in the car if he wants breakfast or lunch. DH then asked SS what restaurant he wanted to go to??? I put it really nice & said if you want to come with me to the food pantry next week that would be great. DH needs to wake up to the reality of what working together budgeting together. Ive just had it with DH luxuriating his kids while I go without.

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I AM WITH YOU THERE! I have

I AM WITH YOU THERE!

I have posted on something really close to this very subject before. I am soooooo tired of DH guilt parenting through expensive gifts and fun events that WE can't afford! I am a saver and it kills me that while I pinch pennies and clip coupons to build our bank, he indulges SKIDS constantly.

I have seriously considered separating bank accounts and ALLOWING him to luxuriate them on HIS dime....after he's contributed his portion of the household bills. Oh, wait, he wouldn't have anything left after CS!

This is one of the root

This is one of the root issues I refer to in my blog. Last week, when I went to go pay some bills, I asked SO what he was planning to do for the day. He had already picked up ss, and said that he was planning to go take a walk and buy a pizza for ss9. I told him that was the reason why I bought bagel bites when I went food shopping; so we won't have to eat out, or buy anything from outside, since the government cut our unemployment and we have no income. The only way i was able to do the food shopping was because after our unemployment got cut, we had to put our pride down and apply for food stamps at the welfare office. They didn't approve me (since I'm a full time college student, with no kids), but they gave it to SO. I bought the bagel bites specifically because I knew ss was coming over and he loves bagel bites, so instead of having to spend money we can't afford, I used the food card to go grocery shopping and included this. Well, SO felt bad and said that he wouldn't take him. I felt so bad that on my way to pay the bills, I called him and told him that it was okay to take ss to grab a pizza. He asked if I was sure (probably thought I didn't mean it), but then went when he made sure I wasn't angry.

I wasn't angry, just that if they know we are in a bad situation, why do these small irritating things? It makes me feel like I save, in order for him to spend what I save on unnecessary things.

DH broke down yesterday and

DH broke down yesterday and told me that he feels bad bc it seems BM is the parent who does all the fun things with SKs. I told him that having fun with kids doesn't mean you have to go broke in the process..take them fishing or on anature walk...

His guilt is killing our finances.

Ahhhh, that might be it. The

Ahhhh, that might be it. The merging of the guilt with the money. SO can't seem to get past it. Every opportunity he gets, he wants to spend on things for ss in order to be the "good" dad. Let's see what he will do this year. I have learned way too much from this site, about the motives behind the behaviors, and I will not stand for it anymore.

Yeah, the combination will

Yeah, the combination will definitely wreak havoc.

And in my case, DH doesn't realize that if we separate incomes and divide expenses, he'll have nothing left to spend with.

Blended, the post from the

Blended, the post from the other day was different. When people are not doing well financially, I believe that there should be a team effort on trying to stay afloat. In order to survive, people need air, food, and shelter. In the poster's situation, I would imagine that she is going to a food pantry in order to save money (which I assume would be to cover the cost of her shelter). Since she is going through all of this to have their fundamental needs met, her DH should help out by not spending on unnecessary things, like eating at a fast food joint/restaurant. In the other post you are referring to, I think their fundamental needs were met and the poster asked if she should spend WHAT SHE COULD AFFORD on her dd.