I see this word used a lot on this site. I understand that some people on here are dealing with a lot of dramatic, histrionic, and frustrating behavior from various people in their lives.

It's a little difficult for me to find the words to say what I want to say here.

And I'm not trying to put pressure on people to be hyper-aware, or hyper-PC.

But to be honest, I have bipolar disorder. (Maybe this should have gone on the "my truth" thread! LOL) So when I see the word, it catches my attention.

What I generally see, is that "bipolar" is generally assumed to be the direct equivalent of "crazy."

So I'd just like to point out that not all of us who have bipolar disorder act that way. (uhhh - anymore haha!) And not all people who act crazy have bipolar disorder (or any other mental illness).

Yes it's true that I got treatment at one point, and that it has given me a lot of tools to deal with the inevitable ups and downs. I have also chosen at this time not to medicate. A lot of people believe that someone who really has the disease can only behave normally if they are on medication. I can tell you that that's not necessarily the case.

The role of medication, for me, is this: if you can't handle your day to day life without excessive issues, or you feel like you want to die, then you need meds. Anything other than that is just your personality, so deal with it.

So, yeah, I'm bipolar. Or, excuse me, we are taught to say that "I *have* bipolar disorder" not "I *am* bipolar."

One in five people with bipolar are capable of holding down a full time job. I can do that. I do it well. And they don't know.

One in five people with bipolar disorder commits suicide.

I did try it. Multiple times. Hence the treatment. I'm pretty well past that, but suicidal thoughts will always be part of my life from time to time. I just need to know what to do when they happen. I used to be pretty sure I'd die by suicide eventually. Now I doubt it would ever come to that. (But fun how I'll never be really certain, right? )

My point in telling you all this is so that you realize I'm speaking from experience.

There are a few things that bother me that other people might not notice when people talk about bipolar. One is when people who have it act like they have a free pass to do whatever they like. That's wrong. They need to take personal responsibility for doing what they need to do to be able to live among others without wreaking havoc.

Another is when people assume anyone with bipolar disorder by definition is an out of control freak and can't help themselves. That's not true either. There are those of us you'd never know about unless we told you. We've learned through ugly experience and repeated mistakes to keep whatever struggles we have private - whatever the cost - due to lack of understanding and of course personal embarrassment.

Another is when people assume anyone who behaves like a crazy ass freak has bipolar disorder or some other mental illness. There are a lot of reasons people behave that way - a chemical imbalance or personality disorder is not a prerequisite for disruptive, dramatic, histrionic, self centered behavior.

It's hard to put into words what my goal is in finally putting this in writing (I've thought of it many times before - that word is all over this site!).

I guess it's that I feel this is a strong community with many good people in it, and I trust there are at least some people here who would appreciate the information I have due to my unique perspective, and whose own perspective might be a tiny bit broader for reading it.

So there you go.

Happy Mischief Night

L