I just feel like screaming
I just want to scream. Last night the SD calls her dad and says to meet her outside the house because she wants to talk to him without the bitch (which would be me, I guess). So she drives up and sits on my front porch yelling and cussing at her father. She tells him that he has never been a father, etc., etc. Then she informs him that she hopes that I die from my breast cancer. Her exact words were "I hope that f***ing b**** dies! I hope she f***ing dies and leaves you all alone!" All of this is going on with my 11 year old son in the house with one of his friends. She is yelling so loud that every word she says can be heard inside. I step outside and tell her that I have heard enough and want her to leave my property. She informs me that she is going to kick my a**. I tell her that if she will not leave on her own that I will call the police. After cussing and yelling a bit more she finally leaves and then drives by our house several more times throughout the evening. Am I wrong for asking her to leave? It's hard enough fighting cancer and dealing with my own life right now. My son is already having a hard time dealing with my cancer and now he is clinging to me since hearing her wish me dead. Any suggestions or comments will be appreciated. Thanks!
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No, you did fine...
She was very belligerent and irrational in her behavior, and even if this had been a member of my own family talking to me like that... I would have done the same thing, and if they refused, called the police, started to stock me, called the police. Why, because they have to understand that this is unacceptable behavior and there are consequences to face.
I have to say that this is horrible, just horrible for anyone to deal with. I am soo sorry that you have to be going through this. I won't wish it on my worst enemy. Your SD is just plain spiteful with her own guilt, or maybe resentment, anger... fill in the blank, but it's manifested onto an attack against you, unfortunately.
I would suggest that your DH contacts her daughter and just simply tell her she is not welcomed to your home, your property... PERIOD. This is a moment that he needs to either take the high road or the low road and realize the bigger picture. Her animosity towards you is affecting others, and that is not acceptable. If SD needs to talk to her father, she can do so at a public place with lots of people around... PERIOD. He can meet her at the Library- certainly can't go about yelling there, now can we? And if she does go into a tyrant, he should just leave, turn his back, and leave... don't give into her rants, because that is enabling her to speak that way.
In my book, if this were me, I'd write her off, pretend she didn't exist... but that's me. I won't condone it. It's obvious that she doesn't have respect for you, therefore I won't have any for her. I would treat her like a child that she wants to be.
Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...
You were right...
With what you have to deal with you need to put your health and your son first...If she is old enought to drive than she should be old enough to understand the consequences of her actions. She is not a two year old who cannot understand what is happening. I think it is sad that she cannot even consider anyone elses feelings. I totally agree with Step Mom. When you are feeling stronger, maybe then you can try and have a relationship but now, too bad for her.
Concentrate on you!!!!!!
After reading your post,i am filled with admiration for you. You dealt with an extremely unpleasant and agressive verbal assault in totally the right way. She should be thanking you for not calling the police as i certainly would have done but i don't know her.
You have to take care of yourself now physically and emotionally. I lost both my parents a while ago and i remember seeing how ill my mother was and the effect that had on me and i imagine your son is going through much the same emotions. He is frightened for you and the power of the mind is stronger than anything else and the fact that this awful woman has wished you dead is going to play on his mind. Noone should have to put up with that sort of behaviour,especially at your own home.You have enough to deal with. Obviously i don't know you but you come across in your post as an extremely capable and determined woman.
In time,maybe,you could try and build some sort of relationship with your SD though it may be hard to forgive such vicious behaviour. But for now,you should concentrate on yourself and reassuring your son.
Thoughts are with you and hoping you are feeling stonger very soon.xx