Hate SD with a passion
Well let me give you a brief overview I am married to my DH for almost 2 years he has 2 teen daughters. SD one is 14 and an awesome person couldn't love her more. SD two is 13 and I don't know how to even start with her. Biomom died almost four years ago and was a shitty shitty psycho person. She had a lot of problems mental and physical. SD 14 hates her and wants me to adopt her. SD 13 is the epitome of evil. Just this past week she wrote a note at school that she got instutionalized for while she has been there barely any phone calls to my DH and she is supposed to get out on Sunday. SD has told me many times how she hates me, shoved me around and sworn me out she goes out of her way to talk shit on me behind my back to everyone and after all this time I stand there and take it because I love my DH and my kids and my one SD. But when I bring this behavior up to my DH all he says is I will talk to her. I don't know what to do. All she does is is seek attention and we have heard this from so many counselors that it's not even funny. But I feel like if she comes home on Sunday I am in fear for my marriage, my kids and my sanity. Please I need advice.
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If she got instutionalized
I really don’t think talking will do anything. This kid needs help. Like instutionalized type help. More like a 6 week or more program. Hope you get her the help she needs, just realize she may be a lost cause
Your are in for a long road.
You are in for a long road. Sounds like she needs a lot of help.
No advice but I feel for you.
No advice but I feel for you. HUGS
It sounds like the girl has
It sounds like the girl has been in ongoing counseling. But has she actually had any kind of diagnosis? I mean... people don't do things for zero reason. If she is seeking attention.. why? Is she struggling with mental health issues? Is she struggling with changes in her life? what?
I know it's hard to have any sympathy or empathy for someone behaving so poorly, but she must be hurting in some way to be acting like she is.. she must be very miserable. I hope Her parents continue to try to get her the help she needs.
Her biomom passed away, so
Her biomom passed away, so her only parent is OP's husband. It sounds like he is doing little to correct/help the situation.
It sounds like her husband just tries "talking to her" to correct issues as they happen at home. I have lived the "talking to skid to help with issues" dream. Maybe dh talks to her, IF he does, it cleary does no good.
So poor OP is getting physically shoved around, screamed at, lies told about her... OP's children and the other skid have to watch all this happen to mom while dad does little, if anything, to correct the behavior.
I'm sorry, not sorry, but if this was me I would be more worried about protecting myself (and my children) than "why sd is acting like this". It is ok to protect yourself and your kids from someone, even if they have "mental illness".
OP you may love your dh and your other sd, but constant chaos at home is extremely wearing. Both mentally and physically. You HAVE TO DEMAND that your dh do something CONSTRUCTIVE about his daughter. If he won't, protect yourself and your children. And you shouldn't have to "hide away" in your bedroom all the time and walk around on eggshells to do so. Living in constant turmoil is horrible.
Sounds like SD13 got the
Sounds like SD13 got the short end of the genetics stick.
SD pushes you around and all
SD pushes you around and all your H can say is "I will talk to her"? He needs to find alternate assistance to help out with his daughter because this is abuse and to live that way is awful. Instead of talking to her he needs to take action like contacting the shcool and finding out what else can be done because she needs helps.
Next time she touches you,
Next time she touches you, call the cops and have her thrown in the pokey. Allowing her to misbehave is not going to help her.
She does things
like push and shove you, yell at you, tell lies about you, all this without any repercussions. This is why "talking to her" will not work. There is no incentive for her to change her ways.
She sounds like there are some major mental illnesses going on. I have 2 SD, and the eldest Toxic Feral has her mother's disorder. She lies all the time about everything, has all these "anxieties", is depressed, has temper tantrums, etc. Exactly like her BM, Toxic Troll.
Work with DH to set up repercussions and punishments. Its time to get real. Talking will change nothing. Since you are effectively the only mother in her life, perhaps if you disengage, she will realize what she is losing with her vile behavior.
Im sorry you have to live in this he!!.
Good luck and keep posting - it really does help.
When she makes lies and physically attacks you
hubby talking to her does jackshit.
Hubby needs to come down like a friggin hurricane on her. Just because mummy dies doesn’t give her an excuse to behave this way and blame it on mummy dying issues.
Like others said you have every right to a harmonious home and not lock yourself up in a room on eggshells because she will physically attack you or call you names.
she attacked you physically and hubby said he would talk to her? He should have been fuming the shit at her that if that happened ever again your sm has permission to call the police and have you forcibly removed from home or he should have called the cops on her.
when i had issues with ss20 (he never physically attacked me) but he emotionally abuses all of us, very disrespectful and rude and pretends we all don’t exist, I told hubby this needs to change because our kids are terrified of him and he told me the usual: “oh be patient”, “he needs time he says he’s stressed at being a decent human”. My response was a sarcastic “are you stupid and are you friggin kidding me”.
So i told hubby if he was not actively committed to change then divorce me now because i want one. How dare you allow and enable these unnecessary behaviours to continue and demand i just shut up and take it. I want a divorce and enjoy your life being treated like shit by your kids...
that woke hubby up because now he finally realised that his kids attitude, disrespect and behaviours was affecting our relationship, marriage and harmony at home so that was hubbys motivation to buck up and sort out his toxic cesspool of dysfunction with kids or i was out.
hubby admitted we were his stress relievers and kids with ex were total stress inducers and life without me and our kids he just couldn’t imagine. So i told him to fix it now, no buts no same usual excuse “my kids need time” or i’m out the door