Well, just tell her slavery has been abolished, and that she should get her own place, where she can leave her dirty dishes around as long as she wants and grow interesting yeasts on them to stick in her revolting food.

She's old enough to be on her own if she can't clean up after herself or respect your home. Part of this is the work of doing the dishes and some of it is the lack of respect.

You dont have to. Stop doing it. Make her do it. If she doesnt listen, have her dad make her do it. If he wont. He can do it. If it doesnt leave them and when the dishes get really nasty throw them all out, every single one. When it's time to cook take some money from your DH and go buy new dishes. Repeat this process as necessary. DH will either get a clue and fix the situation or he will go broke and not have money for his wants or (gasp) his daughters wants. Just plainly and calmly state you are DONE being the maid until you get some help, and the key is to mean it.

You dont have to
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Thats what I was thinking.

It really pisses me off to do anything for an ungrateful little (or big) brat who expects me to. I don't mind doing anything for a respectful gracious kid.

I don't get this...I keep reading weirdness around here regarding slack azz steps (or kids in general) and I don't get it...

Don't do it...

When my sister and I went through this with my mom, my mom went out and bought the CHEAPEST paper plates she could find...and the CHEAPEST paper cups she could find...

She literally locked up all of her dishes...

She'd put out like 3 or 4 a day, and we had to make it work...no getting 5 or 6 of them to make it sturdy...

Looking back, it's a shame that she had to go through all of that to get us to do right, but it eventually worked...she was tired of yelling at us...

You COULD do the same, AND DH could enforce some stuff...what's he doing?

That's just ridiculous. Make her buy her own paper plates and paper cups. She's old enough to take care of herself.