Dealing with Child Protective Services
This is our 3rd time with CPS. First was when BM claimed medical neglect, was dropped. Second was when SD14 told her school counselor that she was smoking weed with BM. SD said she lied, BM said it never happened, we couldn't say because we don't know for sure. This time SD14 told her school counselor that SO "repeatedly" punched her in the face and threw her down the stairs. The counselor called SO and told him she didn't believe her but was required to report it. (Part of me thinks BM and SD came up with this plan so she can live with BM or GM)
CPS worker came to our home a couple days ago and decided she wanted a mental health evaluation done, SD is now in the psych ward. The worker took SDs statement and immediately called her supervisor. She didn't care about what we had to say, what the counselor said, that there wasn't a single mark on this girl, nothing. Now I'm worried that they're going to come back and want to remove my kids. If they suggest I leave with them I will. I just hope I get the chance. I don't want them knocking on the door and taking DS3 and DS9mos away.
There's no reason for it. We have done nothing wrong. The only punishments that girl got from SO are lectures, sent to her room, no electronics etc.
What do I do? Can they just show up and take the boys? There's no open case against me, yet. I can't function with this in the back of my mind. I broke down at work yesterday, multiple times, and I might lose my job due to me being late to deal with all of this recently. My employers are sympathetic and offered reference letters and said they don't want to lose me but I can't be late anymore. I also think I may need to put in notice and be a SAHM until next year as I'm currently 4 months pregnant and returning in a few months would be pointless.
If anyone has dealt with anything like this before and can offer advice and/or reassurance I'd greatly appreciate it.
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Comments
It is highly doubtful they
It is highly doubtful they will remove YOUR children from the home. It sounds like the caseworker is actually doing her job. I would guess that the caseworker ordered the psych eval because she knows SD is lying and that would imply that she has some mental issues going on to make up such nonsense, especially given previous case where she admitted to lying about smoking dope.
I'm sure it's quite nerve wracking but I really wouldn't worry about it. If caseworker was THAT concerned about YOUR kids, she would have removed them when she removed SD.
^What Daisy says is true. If
^What Daisy says is true. If CPS truly feels that your children are in danger they would have been removed already. exH filed a false claim against me and I was investigated, the case was dropped and "unfounded." It was nerve wracking and I was on edge for weeks. The reason she's in a psych ward rather than a foster or group home is because they think she's lying.
I agree with above poster to 100% let SO deal with his kid with issues. If I were SO I'd let her live with BM; that's way too much stress for you and your kids, and false accusation against her own father is just sick. They need some space.
I agree with Daizy. I've
I agree with Daizy. I've been there. It was a real PITA, but it was best to stand by my husband through it all. However, If I were you guys, after this is over, pack that kid off to her mother. The next thing she'll be accusing him of is sexual abuse.
If they suspected that your
If they suspected that your SO was capable of that type of abuse, they would have considered it an emergency situation and probably would have taken all the kids. It sounds to me like the case worker is on to SD's game. When our BM was reported to CPS, they broke down her door and made her leave her infested, disgusting home immediately. She wasn't even allowed to go back to get stuff. They wouldn't play around if they thought your SO was hitting her.
If you are worried that it will escalate, leave before they come back. The best thing you can do is leave until this blows over.
What everyone is saying is
What everyone is saying is true. Our BM had no warning. They showed up and took the kids and placed them immediately.
They didn't even notify DSO they did this. BM called him over 5 hours later.
You have three options: -
You have three options:
- Leave
- Ban SD from your home
- Do nothing and continue to let this crazy skid make accusations that could cost you your job and your kds.
There is nothing normal about the life you're leading, and just because you marry someone doesn't mean you agree to be victimized by their crazy, terrorist brat. Take action! Protect yourself and your children!
If the counselor told DH that
If the counselor told DH that she didn't believe the accusation, then she told that to CPS also. Plus SD had no broken bones, no bruises. Being punched in the face and thrown down stairs will leave a mark.
If the caseworker thought there was any truth to this either the kids all would be gone or DH would have been asked to leave the house and SD would be with BM or in a foster home. A psych hospital is not where they send abuse victims.
DH has options. He needs to think about what they are. A consult with a lawyer may be a good place to start. DH needs to find out what his legal options in your state are. He need a to get SD the help she obviously needs and protect you and his other children.
Thanks for all of your
Thanks for all of your responses. SO spoke to the hospital and told them about the secret cell phone, drugs etc and they said it explains why she's lying and acting this way. They are prescribing her depression meds again. I told SO if there's any chance of me staying then we are installing security cameras everywhere except the bedrooms and bathrooms so I don't have to worry about her lies for the time being. We are going to live in separate households until SD ages out. It will take a month or so to find a place close enough and in my price range.
We are considering sending SD back to BMs. We both know she won't have a chance at life if she goes back but I guess it's better than sacrificing everyone else for her sake.
I feel a little better knowing that the hospital doesn't believe her, the school doesn't and the social worker probably doesn't either. You're right that they would have immediately removed her and wouldn't have given SO the option to have a psych evaluation. Thinking back to the conversation with her she said it was up to him and she couldn't force it.
There's also the fact that BM has been reported and admitted to abusing her 4 or 5 times and they never removed her from her home.
GM is threatening to call CPS daily until she is removed because she feels she could give her a better home. This is BMs mother, this woman is just as dumb as BM and can't handle a teen. Hell BM can't handle her and apparently we can't either. Maybe she's just hopeless.
I don't think anything will happen with CPS. We aren't accepting any of their counseling or other shit they use to get into your home so I'm hoping this is the end of it.
Send her back to bm or to gm,
Send her back to bm or to gm, just get her out. And NO visits in your home. Supervised visits only, in public, you've tried. You can't sacrifice your children for her.