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sd6 won't play on her own

Mich811's picture

My 6-year old SD really never wants to play on her own. She seems to need non-stop attention from DH and from me. It is exhausting. Any suggestions for how to get her to play alone without hurting her or making her feel rejected?

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Mich811's picture

Nope. She has friends, but she refuses to do anything alone with them on playdates. It is rough.

TheBrightSide's picture

Playdates rule. As do sleepovers.

We only have one SD10. I came into their lives when she was 6. She's an only child and we were her playfriends. If you have her 24/7 it can be exhausting.

Pantera's picture

And if you get a "playdate" that does overnights, you get time to yourself!!! Trust me, its the way to go. Smile

ThatGirl's picture

Try having an SS13 who's the same way! Why can't he sit in his room and play video games all day like normal kids? LOL Instead, he has to be in on every conversation we have, constantly bugging to play a board game, or darts, or pool. I'm hungry. I'm bored. What are we gonna do today? Can we rent a movie? Can you see me now? Hey, look at this! Arrggghhhhh!

Seriously, I'm going to watch this thread and see if you get any good responses that might work with SS13. This kid is nothing like my own were at the age, and it's driving me crazy!

Mich811's picture

Oh, same here. Literally every conversation. I go nuts because I feel like I have to audit everything that I say if I don't want to explain allllll the details (because DH thinks it is fine to include the kids, all the time.)

You know what I really hate? This: if these were my children, I would tell them to go run off and give mommy and daddy a break and play alone (or that the conversation was an adult conversation and to stop nosing in) just like MY parents did with me. But, if you do that as a stepparent, you look evil and wicked.

ThatGirl's picture

Yup, exactly the same! Sometimes I just don't care and say thing's like, "I was talking to your father" or "It's non of your concern," but like you said, then I'm evil and wicked.

sm2bd's picture

Yes! I can sooo relate to that. My SD12 (going on 13) is the same. Constant attention hog!! She acts like a 5 year old but butts in to me and DH's conversations, having to know all our business, knows everything about everything, is always right, needs to be the center of every conversation, everything that is going on. My DH and I go to bed early on weeknights cause we get up at 5. We will be in bed watching TV and she will come in the bedroom and get right in front of the TV jumping and bouncing around like a 3 year old, getting up on the bed, talking and making up rap songs while I am tying to get some peace and quiet IN MY BEDROOM, and watch my shows! Now she is almost 13 and she is about 5'4 and weighs over 160 lbs!!!!

My kids weren't like that either! They had friends, activities, phone, playstation, etc. I could hardly get mine to talk to me they were so busy with things!

jlot's picture

Jumping on the bed and singing rap songs?! OMG. I feel for you, I really do. I would go NUTS.

Our SD12 thinks she is going on 40 and has to be included in all conversations...I finally just igonore the questions if the conversation doesn't involve her. I tried everything and nothing works. I feel bad doing it, but seriously be a KID.

Oh and to your point about going to bed early....a while back my DH and I went to bed kind of early - about 10 because of work schedules that started at 4:30 in the am (My DH's old schedule) and the SD told on us to her BM. "Dad goes to bed so early because jlot doesn't want him to stay up with me." Right. Kid, I like to sleep and get some quiet time...sigh, you can't win.

TheBrightSide's picture

A hand held gaming system like DS. (for a 1 person at a time player) Before you know it she'll be adicted.

(Sad that I'm encouraging you to encourage your SD6 to play videogames).

Butterflykissesandlicks's picture

I'm in the exact same boat with SD6 and am paying close attention to comments as well. It wears me out!!!

Very antisocial and clingy. At age 6, I was playing with friends and listening to music, reading, bike, swimming, doing laundry even!

SD6 acts like she is a year old.

Mich811's picture

I really think this whole situation is royally screwing my SD up. For example, she has major separation issues and hates getting dropped off at school, playdates...she basically refuses to be away from anyone in our family. I don't know what to do, because if I push hard I just look selfish and mean and cold, but the reality is that I want balance and normalcy in our home!

Butterflykissesandlicks's picture

I know exactly what you mean. I used to say to DH, "Why can't she go out on the (locked) screened back porch and play a game or something by herself?"

" Daaaaaaaadeeeeeee, can you come help me?"

We are talking about legos for a 3 year old too! Jeez, make her do something herself, you know? She is not a baby but both her parents cater to her which in turn is causing major developmental difficulties. Whatever.

Yet I would sound "mean and wicked" }:) so I keep my step mom mouth shut.

Mich811's picture

I tried this too, in a VERY nice tone, but everyone scowled at me and DH said, "Oh, she can stay here..."

Mich811's picture

That's the problem. He THINKS he wants me to be an active SM (and says so all the time) but the reality is he only wants that when I am agreeing with the kids and/or him.

RaeRae's picture

What happened to the days when kids were expected to give adults time to be adults?? That's why kids have their rooms full of toys and things they like, for Gods sake!!

Butterflykissesandlicks's picture

RaeRae- Could not agree more. It seems that somewhere in the last 19 years I missed out on kid-centric lifestyle-101. Gag

jojo68's picture

TOtally agree....My BF 10 yr old still needs constant attention...there are cobwebs in her room literally from never being in there...even to sleep (she sleeps next door in the bed with her grandmother)