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Am I crazy or is this wrong

midgette71's picture

Submitted by midgette71 on Mon, 04/05/2010 - 10:16am

I have been thinking about this for quite awhile now and maybe I'm just crazy. Well here's the scenario:
SD & SS's bio live basically in a different residence than their mother for at least 3 out of 7 days and she won custody but of course this wasn't the case when she cried to the judge how she couldn't live w/out her babies. Now she sees and has them on her weekends w/ them Thur, Fri, Sat and Sun. Her excuse and you're gonna love this; she works so late that the 20min drive is too much for her to do, gas is too expensive in the gas hog suv she bought that she didn't even need but chose to buy so she lives w/ her fiance. Oh yeah, this is the 6th new tripod in a little over 5yrs. Now they stay w/ their maternal grandparents on the days she doesn't have them and usually SD stays there regardless. SD has become accustom to living w/ her grandparents which in my opinon is beyond WRONG and bf wont sit her down and change her train of thought. Her behavior is a loner behavior unless she is getting what she wants lately and scowls like her grandma as her normal appearance. Now when I was growing up I wanted nothing more than to live w/ my grams but it was always made clear to me that grandparents are to visit not live w/. They raised their kids and should NOT be raising their grandchildren. Have I lost my mind?

Comments

midgette71's picture

Submitted by midgette71 on Mon, 04/05/2010 - 10:27am

well i guess i should have pointed out that they are more than willing and would prefer this situation. they hate the biodad w/ a passion yet have kicked their daughter and the kids out 3 to 4 times in the last 5 years. they are just as crooked as the daughter. they are helping this along rather than forcing their 30yr old daughter to be a parent as she CHOSE to do.

midgette71's picture

Submitted by midgette71 on Mon, 04/05/2010 - 12:01pm

not that i disagree, but here is the flaw w/ your theory. when you disengage to the extent necessary children pay the price for the bad behavior the watch and our taught. this would be just as wrong.

bjc26's picture

Submitted by bjc26 on Mon, 04/05/2010 - 12:08pm

From my perspective I think it would depend on the situation. My DH was in the Army and was in Iraq at the time his ex-wife started all her crap with the meth and neglecting the kids. They couldn't get him prosessed out quickly enough so his mom had to take them for a while. Then when he had to do his internship for his college degree him and his mom had to figure out an arangement and the kids stayed with their grandma for a while. She was more than willing to do this because she loves her grandkids. She's also part of an organization called "Grandparents raising grandchildren." Believe it or not there are grandparents out there that care for their grandkids enough to want to make sure they get what they need. Unfortunately now that she has taken care of the kids she's having a hard time relinguishing her "parental tendicies" to the kids father and to me. But without her there's no telling where those kids would have ended up if their BM kept doing meth and neglecting them.