Can you kindly explain to him that these are "firsts" for you and special, and his comments are robbing you of some of the joy of being in these moments? This sounds pretty annoying but he may not even be doing this consciously.

I completely agree with you that this is annoying, but with that said, have you told your DH? This seems to be a re-occurring thing with Mother in-laws, moms, friends, siblings etc. It seems like a lot of people just compare kids because there really aren't actual measurements as you said, everyone develops differently so comparing seems like the best option. I remember when my twins were infants and hearing this kind of stuff from all sorts of people. I would say let your DH know that her milestones are special to you and you don't want that clouded with comparisons. I would also explain to him that you recognize these days are numbered and you will blink and she will be getting on the school bus so you just want to enjoy them while they are here and not stress over silly things. No one that I know of graduated high school and was drinking out of a bottle their mommy was holding.

If that doesn't work come up with some clever sarcastic responses. I'm sure if you post a blog asking for it you will get some clever responses.

DH said to me once when our BS4 was having a "moment" in that terrible twos age range that "SD and SS never acted like that when THEY were that age" WTF? It was all I could do not to throat punch him right then and there.

Guess I'd rather have BS4 throw a tantrum every once in a while than be a perfect toddler like skids apparently were (insert eye roll and sarcastic tone here) and then evolve into a 14 year old pot smoking, school failing, punk ass miscreant like SS14 or a 15 year old pilfering, lying, manipulative, nasty slob like SD15.

"Really, Father of the Year? And how much of that milestone was YOUR training or BM?"

"You know it's funny. Your comparing the kids makes you sound a little bit like an asshole... my exhusband wasn't an asshole until much later in our marriage..."

"I apologize, I forgot you were a pediatrician."

"Since we are on the topic of making sure our daughter reaches certain milestones, how about we work on YOUR independence too and you start making your own meals and doing your own laundry?"

"Well I am working on her going to bed on time without screaming every night unlike her older sister. That would put her first for once, hm?"

"It's okay. I've already reserved the desk next to her in kindergarten. They said I would need to bring my own snack though which is a bummer."

People often do this with their biokids and it's stupid. There is documented proof that second borns often do certain milestones later or earlier than firsts, third borns have different ones as well, on and on. As long as she is meeting milestones within acceptable limits, who gives a crap?

Punch your husband in the head for me. Sorry to be harsh but he needs to grow up.

i'm sorry, i forgot you had a childhood development degree.

since u raised such a superior child w/ bm, why arent you still with her?

or if u've got a decent relationship w/ mil, you could ask her about dh's milestones as compared to HIS siblings... hmmm.....

or my personal response would be:
yes i get it, asshole, you've already done this. with someone else. fuck off.