I know what stepkate means about "extra drama" that impacts the SP situation. I also have for the most part kept these issues outside of this site because they are NOT SPECIFICALLY SP-related, but stepkate is right that these issues tend to "bleed over" and "makes it hard to give the whole picture of the situation without mentioning them."

ON TOP OF the "guilty parenting" and preferential treatment of SD and other SP issues, I have SERIOUS issues with my H not contributing to our home and caring for OUR child financially the way a man, husband and father SHOULD in my opinion, so this of course colors my perspective on our SP situation, especially when I see what I believe to be a disparity between what is done for SD versus OUR child and the home that we all live in and SD stays in when she comes to visit. What's MORE, if it was due to exorbitant CS paid to SD's BM I would be a whole lot more understanding, but instead since I know that most of the NCP's here would be absolutely JEALOUS of the measly amount H pays to SD's BM for CS, then I am simply faced with the fact that H CHOOSES to place his own selfish material wants above his responsibilities to his "family", and, well, that REALLY HURTS!

I wonder how many people here would understand my feelings better about my SP situation if they knew that H alone earns significantly more than the average HOUSEHOLD income in the U.S. yet he spent the same amount on his new iPhone as he gives SD's BM every month for CS, and H had not contributed one thin dime to daycare for expenses for OUR BS1 since he was born until I insisted on him paying the entire $630 per month bill during the one month period this summer that SD would be staying with us, however he bought a new Mercedes Benz for himself with a monthly car payment that is the SAME AMOUNT as the monthly daycare expense, yet the car cannot fit the entire "family" when SD is visiting, so we HAVE to drive MY car when she is there!

Yes, I cannot tell you how JEALOUS I feel hearing people complain about their SP situation when they are SAHPs and their spouse is taking care of all of the bills, or even when they are carrying all of the bills simply BECAUSE the NCP is destitute after he pays CS to "crazy" BM every month! I don't know, sometimes I think I would rather have the "crazy" BM and H paying high CS than what I have which is pretty much just a selfish H, but then, I remember that I am at least blessed in that I am not really dependent upon H's financial contribution to keep my household or take care of my children so I guess I COULD just put him out and leave him to deal with his own "guilty parenting", financially messy situation.

Yep, I guess that's proof that I really do love him right there, because why else would anyone put up with this CRAP!