BM pays for nothing
I really need advice on this one. I can take it if I am
wrong. My DH and I have paid for all the extracurricular
activities for his 3 children for the last 5 years. It's
in his separation agreement that BM pays 35% and
she hasn't in 5 years, so she owes us almost $5000.00.
Registration for next year is due and I finally
put my foot down and said the kids (13 and 16) will
not be playing if BM doesn't pay. We truly do not
have the funds, BM not paying any child support,
for 3 kids ( long story). Am I being unreasonable
to not allow the kids to play sports if BM doesn't
pay? My DH thinks I'm being terrible to the kids!
I feel it's not me but BM who is being unfair am
I out of my mind???
- Monkeys mom's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
tell your dh that you didn't
tell your dh that you didn't marry him so that you could provide all the extras for his kids. their MOTHER needs to put in an iota or two of effort in, since it's her vajajay they came out of. you are TAPPED OUT. it's math. run the numbers to him and let him argue MATH.
Thanks so much, I thought I
Thanks so much, I thought I was being a selfish
step mom. I have a bio daughter and she doesn't
Participate in anything (her choice) but DH always
says I would feel different if it was her. I wouldn't
if her dad didn't pay she would not play!! The rules
are always different for his kids.
no such thing as a selfish
no such thing as a selfish WIFE. extras for skids are AFTER your (the marriage's) basic needs and future are provided for (retirement, bills, etc). if he wanted to sacrifice his life for his kids, maybe he shouldn't have gotten married, expecting his WIFE to sacrifice too (i'm sure she expected a PARTNER, not to be a sugar momma).
We have already paid over
We have already paid over $4000.00 in lawyers
fees so far with no progress (live in ontario, Canada)
She will not answer emails or lawyers communication
about what she owes. She now owes over $2500.00
in child support!! The system doesn't work!!!!
To play devils advocate - I'm
To play devils advocate - I'm a BM and SM. My Ex does not pay CS at all, much less for any extra curricular activities. However, they are still involved in sports/activities. I don't want them to miss out just because their Father is a douche. I would be a little hurt if my DH told me we shouldn't contribute to their activities any longer because my Ex doesn't pay for anything. It really isn't the kids fault. I do understand where you are coming from though, and I get how frustrating it can be. It sucks to be the only parent financially responsible, but it is what it is. If you TRULY can't afford it, then you need to sit your hubby down and break down the bills for him so he can see the money isn't there. If we couldn't afford for the kids to play sports, they wouldn't be able to play. The bills 'have' to come first.
Tell the kids you will fund
Tell the kids you will fund one extracurricular per year or whatever you and your husband decide.
(Per Child of course) If they want to do more than that, they can earn money to pay for it or ask BM to pay for it, but you are only paying for one (or whatever you decide....half more, than one, whatever). When BM complains tell her those are the rules at your house. She can do whatever she wants at her house.