SIL has known for 3 years that ours baby "exists" and only came to see him once, that was last June. She stopped by to visit SO's kids first at mil's and then she came by to our place with her bf, the skids and mil. I was ambivalent because it was short notice—we found out that same afternoon that she was coming over— I hadn't met her but she had been acting like her youngest nephew didn't exist for 3 years now despite acknowledging the other nephews and nieces. She's been present since birth for both of SO's kids and BIL's kids. So I didn't know how to feel about her suddenly wanting to come over and meet him.

The whole time SIL was here, the atmosphere felt hostile. Barely anybody made conversation. I was polite and I tried to make small conversation when everyone sat down in the living room but I got quiet once I understood that nobody wanted to talk to me. SIL, the extrovert of the family that I had heard so much about, didn't really talk to me. All SIL did was talk to/about the kids, and she spoke with SO, & Mil in short bursts but no real conversation and no meaningful conversation directed at me. The silence felt awkward and bad, like nobody wanted to be here. Mil didn't do anything to help the situation either and I know she knew what was going on. She's always going on about manners and who didn't speak to her or call her at parties or gatherings. She knew. I felt like she set this whole thing up because she knew it would be an awkward mess. 

SIL was mostly focused on SD and ours baby who were playing together in front of her. At some point during the visit, she made a comment about how ours kiddo looks like SO & it sounded like she was annoyed about it. Sil said "You look like your daddy." and so help me God I could hear the eye roll in her voice... I don't know if it's even possible to hear an eye roll but yeah, her voice was just dripping with attitude and annoyance. It felt... like she was annoyed that ours exists. I don't know how else to explain the vibe I got when she spoke. It made me feel bad. The only person who talked for a little bit towards the end was her bf, because the topic of video games came up & I mentioned forza horizon 5. Soon it went back to awkward silence. 

SIL asked ours for a hug before she left and everyone cooed & awed when he obliged, while I wanted to seethe. It felt like he was being mocked, because I knew she wasn't going to make an effort to be in his life consistently. It was all BS, she was just here to say she met him and get it over with. I cried about it by myself after they left because I was upset. I can't explain how, but I could tell she wouldn't be coming back after this visit. Like, I could just sense it. After everyone left & when I was by myself I cried about how horrible that visit was. I felt flustered and embarrassed. I was happy my family didn't see it because I would have been even more embarrassed if they had witnessed this fracas.

It's been 6 months since, Xmas came and went and not so much as a phone call from her. (and in case you were wondering no, no gift either. Skids got things sent to them in GA, though.) Nothing changed, and I never expected it to. I know we don't need her in our lives, but it gets me mad. I can't help it. It's insulting to see my kid get treated like he's not worth as much attention as his older brother and sister. Now that the kids live in GA, I'm pretty sure sil won't be showing up here again. Part of me feels relieved & part of me hopes she trips & hurts herself. She's a good aunt to all of her other nephews and nieces, how am I not supposed to feel like my child is being singled out & shunned? What am I missing?